The Poetry Marathon

Dear Death, 
How have you been?
it's been a while
have you come to collect some souls?

It's not my time yet...
but, while you're still here...
Join me for a strong coffee
I imagine your work must be killing - no pun intended .

Tell me what does dying feel like?
Where do you take the souls of the dead?
Does time wear you down like it does the living? 
Do you have a soul?

If given the chance to be anything other than death 
what would you chose to be?  

-Janice Raquela Mendonca 

Wild child,
with dandelion dreams
painting clear skies 
with dandelions 
floating mid air
suspended in divinity 
making wishes come true. 

Wild child with a wild heart
so open 
so raw
so vulnerable
so pure.

So full of love 
and kindness
it's almost infectious.
Tender heart 
wild child 
wishing upon dandelions.

here's to hope.
here's to you.

-Janice Raquela Mendonca


 

A long hard road,
lay ahead of me.
I didn’t know how long it was,
I didn’t know when it would end.
So I kept walking through the forages
cutting past my doubts
facing my fears,
all the while
Dealing with the reality of the situation.
That nobody could save me,
Only I could save myself
The truth was, I was all alone.

Paranoia preyed at my sanity
shaking the roots of everything I believed in…
I started questioning myself
hoping the answers would appear.

But it didn’t happen like that way.
I fought tooth and nail
and hard for myself.
But,sometimes that too wasn’t enough.

It was cold and unforgiving,
Treacherous …
My body started caving in,
My mind still focused.

I kept moving on,
even when I didn’t have
the strength in my legs to walk
I crawled….
Trained my eyes
to look for the light
at the end of the tunnel.

Until one day a
glimmer of light
caught my eye.
I focused all my energy
towards the light,
Before I knew it,
the ordeal was over.

I survived!
I made it out alive!

-Janice Raquela Mendonca

Caffeine patrols, 
Sugar rush
Guilty as charged
We keep marchin' on.

A brand new world 
awaits me today
Imagination is on the loose 
and creativity re-fueled. 

Let's paint this town red.


-Janice Raquela Mendonca

People are complex and sophisticated 
though hopeless and helpless 
when left to their own devices.

I thought I was the only one 
trapped in the endless circle
complexities of life decisions 
and consequences. 
Carrying around this weight 
I just couldn't shake off.

It refused to leave
I kept running away 
and kept postponing my plans 
for dealing with it. 
It only grew heavier.
Not acknowledging it and 
addressing it 
only made things harder.

Everyone has their own share 
of devils to deal with at any given time.
You have no idea what the person 
sitting next to you is going through.
Could be completely broken or defeated.

I guess in a way I take comfort in the fact 
that I am not the only one stuck 
the reassurance itself is enough..
it's comforting to know
'I am not alone.'
It gives me the strength to carry on...
when I don't want to.

-Janice Raquela Mendonca  

You alone 
in sheer screaming
have become darkness
as you fall.

Dear 20 year old Janice, 

Not much has changed huh?
Insecurities still going strong.



This letter is going to be a mix of everything, 
regrets, advice, hopes and aspirations..



I hope you remember to smile often, 
And practice Kindness..
Be kind to yourself as well as towards others.
You are doing a good job. 
You are such a strong and brave young woman. 
You inspire me. 
I haven't been as strong as I was when I was 20. 
Fighting for your life, 
Hanging onto a very thin thread, 
and the unpredictability of your health condition.
You handled it gracefully and the best you could.


Sure you missed out on a great deal 
of normal things kids at 20 do, but, 
that's okay. Looking back I recall it 
being an adventure of a lifetime. 

I wish you could have appreciated 
your parents and acknowledged 
the sacrifices mum pulled in for you. 
Dad worked tirelessly to pay 
the surmounting hospital bills and 
Wendy grew up without any assistance.

Have a little patience, 
It's okay to fail,
Love yourself.
Believe in yourself. 
Stay true to yourself. 


The future is bright 
and all of this will be 
over you, just be patient, 
Hang on,
the struggle isn't over,
There's more struggle coming along...
you still got fight left in you
give it your best shot. 
 

Don't worry, 
Let go, 
You don't need to be in control of every situation. 

Not everyone is going to agree with you and like you
but that's okay.
Not everyone is going to understand you, 
that's fine. 
Don't sell yourself short
Never ever compromise on your self worth.
Remember some people are assholes 
there's not much you can do about that.

Love from the future.

-Janice Raquela Mendonca  

Damn...That night was extra ordinary, 
A stunning thick blanket
of stars....


The night called in a hush 
A somber reverie,
A settling fog that intended to stay. 


Moonbeam poured a pale milky white ray 
like lights of pearls 
accompanying the stars.

I cradled my warm coffee 
I knew not which way led to my destination
my heart only followed the docks. 
And the fir trees that lined my horizon in the distance. 

-Janice Raquela Mendonca

Our lives are terribly tiny.
raise your glass in honor,
to celebrate
every human emotion, and flaw,
every achievement and failure.
Such a human condition,

The essence of a person’s life can
be merely encapsulated in a few
simple and humble words.
Describing with accuracy the complications
of our intertwined lives.

-Janice Raquela Mendonca