The Poetry Marathon

She had her flaws,
She expected him to change
She was stubborn, controlling and demanding..

He had his fair share of flaws,
he expected her to change
Clumsy, pig headed and a hypocrite.

Their marriage failed.

-Janice Raquela Mendonca

Rolling Hills 
and cedar trees.

that's our meeting place, 
where we dance with abandon, 
running towards each other frantically.

Rolling down over rolling hills
Dancing naked around bonfires
you strum your guitar  
and utter my name 
and it sounds like a song.



The sweetest lie
the hardest truth 
both meet here in this moment.
I'm almost afraid to admit 
I'm falling for you. 

Our hearts beat wild 
breaking free from our rib cages 
with just a touch and a glance. 
You light up the fire in my heart. 
You carve a place for yourself in my soul.


You intoxicate my senses.
You hold me close
look straight into my eyes
bashful and unapologetic
Talk is cheap and...
baby we're better than that. 



You skip the small talk 
jump straight for the hard questions. 
that's when I fell in love with you. 

-Janice Raquela Mendonca 

It tastes like grit against your teeth
and ash upon your tongue.
It feels a lot like broken bones 
and torn muscles from a boxing fight.

Humiliating, 
Pitiful
endless agony,
and a learning curve

Feels like being stuck 
with no way to make a way.
So you grovel in your existence. 

 You start building a house
and making yourself comfortable. 

____________

If there's a rebel within you,
start a revolution.  
Shout out to the stars 
asking for help 
to provide you with direction, 
To help make things clearer and easier.

All your power and advantage
is used against you, 
Rewiring you to think and act differently.

But, the thing that gets me the most is
we as humans are designed to be a superior 
creation, so our problems are not simple. 
and the solutions are often complicated and not complied.

But, still despite it all,
we cling to our hopes, 
we define ourselves 
by the amount of successes 
and trophies that decorate our shelves.

How come we don't define ourselves 
and measure our worth based on how many 
lessons we learned from the countless failures 
we accumulate but, 
never seem to acknowledge their existence.

It's the mentality that needs to change
our attitude
our perception.

Only then can we unstuck ourselves 
from rock bottom, moving upwards. 
Growing, 
blossoming 
to be better versions of ourselves.

I believe so long as each one of us are living 
we are bound to make mistakes, 
we must learn from them. 

We must ornate our shelves with 
the lessons we have learned, 
from the mistakes we have made. 

The day you die 
the lesson is over.
Life itself is the biggest lesson. 

It teaches you everything 
you were destined to learn in your crazy lifetime.

-Janice Raquela Mendonca

I have five minutes to live, 

what's going to happen in 5 minutes?

The flight is going to run out of fuel
the plane is struggling to find landing
we are surrounded by water on all sides 
in a war torn region.


Missiles fly, 
Bombs explode.
Next thing I know, 
the captain announces
Brace for crash!
Brace for crash!

Oxygen masks fall down,
I grasp mine 
holding on tightly 
with that little bleak sight of hope
that convinces me it's not over.

To keep fighting on.
I turn blank, 
I can't keep up with the instructions
I am panicking,
Fear sets in.

Regret takes over
As I wished all those times 
instead of ignoring those instructions
Had I paid the slightest attention to those instructions
I bet I would've been alright.

If only...
I break into a cold sweat

If only...
My face turns red.

Bracing for the fall
Gravity don't fail me now...

The plane is free falling
I see my entire life flash before my eyes...
The wind almost tears through my skin
as I brace for impact.  

I land on my bed
It's soft.
I'm surprised!
I was going to die. 
And my face and body is drenched
from all the cold sweat.

It all felt so real
and traumatic
I cried my heart out.

-Janice Raquela Mendonca

Dead from the inside 
I am numb.
A complete shut down
unresponsive to the external.
Immovable, life wasting away.
Tired eyes and hungry heart 
all dead in a row.
No thirst to quench
no dreams to conquer
powerless in one way
powerful in another
- nothing affects me.

Nothing to lose,
no fear, no feelings, 
no attachment, no sorrow, 
Just the bottomless pit 
of nothingness -encroaching.

Overtaking... overcoming...
infectious and familiar

It feels comfortable, 
I am doomed anyway, 
Damned if I do,
Damned if I don't.

Hopelessness looms 
like a shadow. 
Wasted life, 
Wasted years,
The Pointlessness of the point,
at the edge of reason 
and lingering disappointment.

Far from any harm,
removed and isolated
detached and unemotional, 
I let that shit go. 

Only to dive deep
Head first into the chaos of living.
The madness of emotions.
The passage through life.


I am waking up,
Undoing these chains 
that have held me down 
for far too long.
I am becoming human.
I am living. 


I open the doors 
and let it surge.

-Janice Raquela Mendonca  

My footsteps weigh heavy
upon the timber floorboards 
of this ancient house.

It gets really quiet at night,
the silence screams in my ear.
Echoes remanent... haunting in the distance.
Emptiness feels heavy and dark.
Full of regrets and dense with secrets.

Sometimes it is silence that keeps me up at night.
My senses -heightened
Alerted- fearsome
I never like the night
cause it pierces my eyes,

The darkness seems scary
Like an endless gaping hole of abyss
prying open and starring back 
Penetrating and peeling 
my layers of fear 
just for fun.

The cold gets under my skin
it bites my bones.
Sends shivers down my spine.
My body is in search of heat 
to compensate for the chill in the air.
I breathe heavy, water vaporizes into ice 
and clouds seem float out. 

A waft of familiarity hangs heavy 
The fragrance of Fried onions, turmeric, 
paprika, garlic and ginger paste
lingering on... from the evening cooking.
It's my mother's food. 
I tried her recipe of lentil and spinach curry  
and it turned out delicious.
It tasted like home. 
It soothes my nerves. 
It gives me peace.

Tonight I sleep with a full belly
knowing that I am much closer to home
in my heart and in my stomach.


-Janice Raquela Mendonca 

Forbidden sweetness
tender ripeness
supple and ample
with a crackle and a zing.

Fullness came forth 
overflowing tenderness
Fulfillment and satisfaction in abundance
Control is the new norm in town
and guess what? it is too cool for you.

It'll blow your hat off
It'll take you by surprise,
It'll shock and awe you,
It'll petrify.

Such are the ways of the world 
my dear friend, 
to elude you into a thick forest of fairy tales 
with happy endings.

So confusing,
So captivating,
So astonishing,
Treacherous are its ways. 

Don't fall for pretty lies 
and false promises.
The truth is ugly 
and often roams around naked. 
But, it is never acknowledged 
for being true to itself.

The world can't digest hard,
ugly and bitter truths.
So we dress them pretty 
And market them on billboards. 
Selling broken dreams
and empty hopes 
with smiles so wide it can convince anyone. 

They are designed to catch your attention
steal your sleep
and prey upon your doubts, fears and insecurities.

They are out on the road...
on every junction and corner.
There's no truth to this beautiful charade.
Everywhere you look 
you will see magical delusion.

Don't fall prey
Don't become the next victim.  

It's all smoke and mirrors
my dear friend.



-Janice Raquela Mendonca

There's a feeling it is overwhelming...taking over my senses.
Fills me with gusto and zest.
Fills me with uncontainable anticipation.
Edge of wonder kind of feeling..
ready to embrace everything that is hurled at me. 
An endless desire that sleeps within
resurrecting itself from its resting place.
To awaken my beasts hybernating in my mind's trap.


The Cages are undone and my imagination escapes 
making a run for it.
in search of that which piques interest and drives my hunger within.

This is the moment my heart takes over.
I feel everything around me deeply...
My senses attuned for my muse to make her appearance.

The grand one -the divine goddess before whom I kneel.
Upon whose altar I surrender every desire and sin.

Let ink take control and flow where ever it needs to.
No questions asked

She communicates through ink.
She reciprocates with inspiration.
The one who shows me how to live vicariously through words.

A form of expression takes birth within me.
A revolution begins at the tip of my fingers.

-Janice Raquela Mendonca

I am…
…all

I am…
…nothing

and all …
… at the same time.

I am sadness
trapped within myself
lost in a space of time
Caught in an endless loop
that can’t be measured, 
unstoppable destruction.
restless madness.

I carry lost moments 
and regrets. 
everyone wishes
they could turn me back…
can’t be controlled.
wait for no man.

I am time. 

I am the prisoner.
I am the prison 
I am prisoner 
I am prison…
I am

free. 

-Janice Raquela Mendonca 

Fighting sleep,
and restlessness.
i made it through
I struggled
I survived.

There were times when I wanted to give up
and snuggle cozily
in the warmth of my bed.

But I’m not quitter.
I made it!
hurray

okay bye Goodnight.