The Poetry Marathon

The rocks of longing in my heart build cairns

that balance serendipitously on dunes built of sugar

like the sweet and sticky buns of my youth

sounds of sucking my fingertips

before dipping them in the sands of the Ocean City beach

where I lie in ageless wonder at Vanessa’s poise

as she topples the stones

only to rebuild them with sandhands

outlasting the incoming tides with their sweet memories

shifting sands of time my ass!

the wandering waves of grief

create as they reclaim

Vanessa’s laugh coming now from my throat

the little sis who I still am

with the broken shells she gave me as a joke

that I now treasure and always will

the sickly sweet sounds of breaking seashells

that burst me open

freeing my tears

Grazie mille sis

the waves seem to scream

lapping up against the cairn in my heart

Seeing only darkness ahead,

a never-ending night

calling for surrender

and giving up the fight.

I crawl up to the blank walls

that seem to surround me

and for the first time, I see

a stair just out of reach,

rungs of beauty and pain.

Is this recovery?

I grab, grasp and grapple

with those first steps

but continue to climb

up and out.

Facing this challenge, I face my fear

what is it I hold so dear

and why am I afraid of where this road leads?

that I’ll dissolve in the dark and mist?

or that I’m afraid to be seen, afraid to be heard

because my words make no sense and move no one

as they barely move me

but still, I look for the light in the night

and to find my way and what I need to say

to open a rhythm that has not yet been sung

I’ve just begun

I walk in.

This is my first time, so I signed up for the half marathon and am excited to experience the challenge. I also look forward to reading what others write.