The Poetry Marathon

He came into our lives
a black and white whirlwind of joy
He grew into our family
Our love for him was uncontainable
Two years later, on a day of rain
He was taken to heaven
Leaving a hole within me
that can never be filled

Looking at his face one would miss
the sensitivity hidden behind
its mask
The hardness of his face
covers his internal pain
his brow, forged with angry lines, imply
a man of mean-ness, of intimidation
His eyes droop at the outside corners
matching the eternal frown of his mouth
Sometimes a shy boyish grin emerges
I call it the smile of innocence
It’s his most genuine smile, so only glimpses of it are seen
His original smile is dazzling
sunlight reflects off the gold surrounding seven teeth
as he smiles, his face brightens and the frown lines disappear
to be replaced by a handsomeness unlike any other
a carefree spirit resides inside
that face of anger, that face of frowns

Darkness
I’ve noticed during this marathon my poems are filled with darkness
Happy images do not avoid me, but darkness is easier to grasp
I’ve spent most of my life in darkness
I am a living breathing contradiction
Internally, I dwell with those who dress their pain in white face and black robes
I dwell with those who deny their pain through needles and alcohol
I dwell with the cutters and those in despair
Externally I am a force to be reckoned with
I bring happiness and light to those around me
My sense of humor is like a ray of sun for some
A beacon of light guiding them through their trials
they say the strongest ones are the ones who need people the most
Well maybe I need people
Maybe all I need to do is write
Write out my sadness, my despair, my brokenness
Write myself out of the darkness into the light
Use my gift as a therapeutic tactic
To tell the truth on paper, through poetry, fiction, whatever
Write myself into who I know I am

We need a resolution
A solution to a continuing issue
that has been plaguing this nation
My people are dying needlessly
In an endless war
A war considered by some to be obsolete
A war that has gotten much media attention
in days of late
due to the actions of the police
Killing black men, unarmed or packing plastic
pistols with orange tips, filled with BBs or metal
pellets, non-lethal weapons being carried
in states with open carry laws
that only benefit those who are not stigmatized
as being violent
We need to have a conversation
A conversation to address the struggle
between hard earned money and poverty
between easy money and prosperity
We need to unite as a country
as the melting pot we are
We must stop the violence against my brothers, against my sisters, against
anyone we consider different
We need to focus more on our similarities and less on our differences
We need to accept one another as human first
It is time…the time has come for change

Sun-kissed flowers, yellow and dainty, fragile
stand beneath a blue blanket of a sky
dotted with pillows of clouds, soft and puffy
The day reaches out to me
Asking me to come out
And enjoy its company

A doorway gapes open within
A black hole, that sucks in any form of happiness
Masked by a sense of humor
A dark bloodless wound, whispers
Beckons me to visit
to sit within its dark emptiness
and share in its despair

A black heart
Unfeeling, cold-blooded
Dead within
A light
Bright as the sun
smiles on me
Little by little
the darkness lifts
away
Blood warms
Feelings reappear
A vibrant, beating mass
of heart emerges from the darkness
full of life,
but guarded
Afraid to trust
Afraid to love
For fear to do so
will lead back to
a dark state of numbness

Nameless
Unforeseen, sudden,
fear
heartbeat increases suddenly
breathlessness
I can’t breathe
I…can’t…breathe
Gasping, gasping for breath
Hypervigilant
Watching, watching my surroundings
I can’t move…
Nerves thrumming like guitar strings
Silver, a taste of metal in the back of my throat
Am I going crazy?

My love is fragile
like the wings of butterflies
often smeared with tears

She can’t see before her
Her eyes are trained backwards
Behind her
In the rearview
Daily she relives her past
Life’s victimizations and bad decisions
Situations, circumstances, trials
Never does she rejoice in knowledge obtained
Just a persistent need to see backwards
In the rearview
She bumbles, stumbles and crashes her way through life
Trying to overcome, reading, writing and learning
but always looking in the
rearview
She does not realize
The past is the past and must be left behind
She does not yet know, looking forward is how to let it all go
Until this lesson has been achieved
she will continue to stumble, backwards,
cause her eyes are trained on those images in the rearview

We met
after hours
under the soft moonlight
You asked me
to be honest
I looked down
at my feet
And lied