The Poetry Marathon

You asked for me to write a song of me
And, humble, I could never think to be
So bold, so arrogant – if even true;
But this is me, and of me, just for you:

I am a soulful one, depths fathomless
To most, currents lost in my soul’s progress;
And, losing most in wand’ring through my life,
I find myself alone, sometimes in strife.

And so, seeking to find a better way,
Farther from culture’s rules, I oft do stray.
I gain more satisfaction, still, than peers;
Tend to stir, unwittingly, human fears

And find myself at odds with consuetude,
Exam’ning life’s and love’s true magnitude –
My mind and heart swelling with all I’ve found:
That love and life and beauty yet abound

When willing parties but dismiss affray,
When expectations we dispel today,
When we let live and grow our hearts’ true bliss,
When we dispense the fear of two souls’ kiss.

You asked for me to write a song of me;
And song I write, a soulful wish to free
My heart, my mind from cloistered walls of time,
Released into romantic seas, sublime!

I love with all my heart and mind, it’s true;
A paradox of love: Many, and you –
Always my heart and soul munificent,
Though I find yet a mind’s predicament:

For, how is one to prove a love is true
When love is shared by many, not by two?
When love is bound by only truth and trust?
When love is love, and lust is merely lust?

A poet’s words can fail when love is lost;
A lover’s words can fail, if you accost
Her alimony, disrespect her way;
So, put aside all fear, let love allay

An uninhib’ted life; let love be free:
I’ve found this truth to be most sensibly
The depth at which I founded my own life;
The base of me: With love, my soul is rife.

Aching heart and rattled mind,
I seek a friend, and few I find
With open hearts and willing soul

I remember times of old
When love was easy, love was kind
And we were friends, all lives entwined
And we could live our lives half-blind

It behooves me yet, to see
That you’re yet coming back at me
That you’re yet coming hard and fast
That you yet want some love to last
When you cannot begin to know
That it’s not lust that lets love grow
That it’s not ours to find and search
When we’re not left on that high perch

It was simple,
A breath,
And I slipped from now to then,
And I saw your face again,
And your face remotely yours,
As we stood before the doors…

It was simple,
A breath,
My voice catching on the past,
My voice catching on the pain,
And I saw your eyes again,
And the feeling grown, fondness at last.

It was simple,
A breath,
Two friends holding hands, at last,
Two hearts still held from the past:
I found myself, now, kissing you,
Kissed in ways I never knew.

It was simple,
A breath,
All the time, it would not cease,
Two hearts yearning for release,
Seeking confirmation this was real,
Two souls seeking love to heal.

It was simple,
A breath,
And your arms around me stayed;
On your chest, my fingers splayed…
Must it always go this way?
Must I await for days and days…?

It was simple,
A breath,
I don’t want to watch this death,
Don’t want to bear another flight
When such simplicity feels right,
Can’t switch off this feeling like a light…

It was simple,
A breath,
A needed breath, no wasted time,
And I was yours and you were mine…
Please give simplicity its due;
It’s only me and only you….

It was simple,
A simple breath….

I have been one acquainted with the night.
I have been lost in the depths of a vast universe,
Lost beyond the reaches of his highest height –
And whence his words rippled from kindly to terse –

Where were you? Where were all of you who feel cause to judge
Whilst I searched the covens of all space and time,
Whilst I sloughed off all that you all begrudge,
Whilst I delved into depths of my heart and mind?

I have become one with the night,
Taking fireflies and monsters to become my friends,
Learning from cats to see with a feline’s sight
That my soul and my heart could see my paths’ ends –

And where were you? Were you shielding rays
As family, friends, children from far and wide
Came to embrace you in light of day
Whilst you did hold to your ego’s pride?

I have become acquainted with the night,
With the darkness of my soul, and with others’ too
That I may face with a whole heart my fright,
That I may learn to forgive and to love even you

Who judge. Where were you when my soul was alone?
Did you come to my aide? Did you reason to give?
Or did you only miss what was given, well-known?
Did you think to reach out, give me reason to live?

I have become one with the night and the day
Breaking reasons, unfettered by common restraints,
That I may find reason to live well, as I may;
That I may find life without common complaints –

And where, pray tell: Where do your judgements lead us
Whist I, on my own – my heart oft torn asunder,
My life and my mind leaving you in nonplus?
I find myself, day and night, filled naught but with wonder —

For I have become acquainted well with the night,
And I break, at last, into dawning of days;
And I find I shan’t run, though my wings take to flight
As I find myself, now, understanding your ways.

(First line borrowed from “Acquainted with the Night” by Robert Frost, http://www.poetryoutloud.org/poems-and-performance/poems/detail/47548 )

Fire at your fingertips
Fire that leaps from your perfect lips
Fire that heats all of what I am
Fire that burns in your epigram

At length, you and I are endlessly drawn
You of the sun and I of the sea
Slipping through sunsets and rising at dawn
Flames crave to be quenched, and only by me

Water drips from my eyes every night
Water cleanses each burning, every harm, every slight
Water connects me always to all beings that are
Water surrounds us, no matter how far

Roil and boil in our yearning to grasp
Groping to touch as hearts at distance clasp
Fire and water barely meeting, and then
Into the ether, we rise again

Fire at your fingertips
Fire that leaps from your perfect lips
Fire that heats all of what I am
Fire that burns in your epigram

As soft as I am when I wash over you
As hard as I come when my fury’s released
I fall every day as the morning dew
Wash back again, back again, passion unceased

Water drips from my eyes every night
Water cleanses each burning, every harm, every slight
Water connects all the beings that are
Water surrounds us, no matter how far

Can you claim what is mine with all your soul’s heat?
Can a sun claim an ocean and neither retreat?
Can two beings so strong make a life that will last?
Can two such hearts meet, make a love unsurpassed?

Fire at your fingertips
Fire that leaps from your perfect lips
Fire that heats all of what I am
Fire that burns in your epigram

Heat me, embrace me with fires that burn
I’ll cool you with kisses, none sweeter than mine
I hope and I wish and I want and I yearn
Fire and water shall meet in a love genuine

Water drips from my eyes every night
Water cleanses each burning, every harm, every slight
Water connects all the beings that are
Water surrounds us, no matter how far

Into the stillness of a dream
The day had been what it’d never been

Wide swing, warm coffee, chilly day;
Words flowed from fingers, come what may

When up I glanced, to a tattered blue
And a stylish shirt; it was only you

They say that clothes can make the man
Though I’d say you made those jeans all you can!

And I’d say, instead, that clothes can portray
The heart of a man and, perhaps, his way

For, when you peered from behind the frame
And spoke of what sets your mind aflame

I knew we’d be friends forever-more
Even if we knew not what life had in store

Some star-crossed loves are but passing friends
Who yet share a connection that never ends

And you, who shares so much of his eyes’ deep sight
Shall have coffee, deep chats with me one long night

Words and life may have limits, true
But star-crossed friendships never do

And then, the flow began:
The life that was their own,
The life that was her own
That urged a broad wingspan;
No longer words, alone
No longer friends outgrown….

She found true love without a man;
Won lands afar without a throne;
Traversed where none had ever flown –
And all of this, without a plan,
Without a soul yet to condone
The very life she’d only known

With only whispers of “I can…!”
She lifts her eyes, will not bemoan
The very life, love some’d disown;
Though from malaise he’d said she ran,
Through heartaches, breaks come on full-blown,
She’d come to now, to but intone,

To sing like ancient Solomon
Her heart’s truth, life and love depone
In psalms, her soul’s brilliant lodestone;
To find in sweet, attentive span
And unfailingly true touchstone
Her life, her love ne’er to atone…

And then, and so her flow began….

Firstly, I love that we’re using WP for this; my blog (http://oceansofmine.wordpress.com) is on WordPress and I love the format.

Next, a little about me:

I’m presently in Georgia, about 45 minutes north of Atlanta, helping my mom and dad (but mostly my mom) downsize and shed the copious amounts of stuff acquired over 37 years and the raising of 9 children (plus dogs, cats, mice, hamsters and fish – to say nothing of the spiders and rats that sometimes and for various durations made their homes in the basement).

I’m 42 and have been writing in one way or another since I was a child.  I’m very fortunate to be in the home where I grew up, as my favorite room to write and relax is my parents’ dining room where I used to escape, do my homework, read and write in my journals when I was growing up.

My mom is particularly supportive of my writing, and I expect the day to go fairly fluidly.

I’ve practiced writing poetry quite a lot this year while playing a couple of online, text-based role-playing games (MUSHes, for those who are familiar with them) called Castle Marrach and Ironclaw Online on the Skotos network of games.  I created two poetess characters who wrote quite a lot of poetry, and I was particularly impressed with my ability to create some really great poetry with my character on CM (named Sassa Elvari).

Most of my previous poetry has been quite heartfelt and due to loves and heartbreaks; I’m currently struggling romantically as I fall in love with two different men who are not polyamorous (while it is my inclination to be) and who subscribe to more typical beliefs about love and romantic relationships (while I am a free spirited woman who has extremely broad understandings of love, romance and relationships).  I expect the conflicts I’m going through will evoke some quite deep poetry, as tends to happen with me.

This is my first Poetry Marathon, and I’ve chosen to do the half-marathon for the sake of time and privacy, though I somewhat wonder if I’ll regret not continuing through the second half.  I decided to join this group of poets because I wanted a greater challenge for my writing, another reason to write in general, and another demand from myself for more poetry – especially as I’ve been so pleased with the writing I’ve done earlier in the year.

Thanks so much to the organizers of this event, and I’m really pleased to be a part of it.

Looking forward to tomorrow…!  (Only 31 hours to go…!)