The Poetry Marathon

They said, “Don’t worry, it’s a short drive.”
Yeah
Right

When you’re crammed into the “back seat”
Of a yellow 77 Volkswagon Beetle
Along with 2 boxes of random stuff, a few bags of odd smelling food
And a particularly friendly chihuahua named Gnash
A mile may have been a hundred, for all the comfort it allowed.

The seats smelled of vomit and old lady
Turns out the car was once owned by my “friends” abuela
Some 20 years before
It had sat dormant for the better part of a decade.

Try as I might, comfort was moot
As was the lack of drool and a sense of impending doom I felt
Every time I heard a rattle or felt the jar of deathtrap over tracks
The only solace being the tiny window I opted to peer out of as we journeyed

The view was quite pleasant; even soothing.
Especially that time an attractive woman looked at me while stopped at a red light
And she smiled at me, eyes peering over mirrored shades
I smiled back

I asked you something, never really expecting a response.
Yet, you came to me later

I could smell your perfume
And hear the subtle timbre of your voice

All at once, I knew

You spoke of many things
Alluded to much more

When it was over, I sat beside myself
Crying

Thank you

I noticed you the Spring following
At first, I believed myself foolish to think you’d go to the trouble

You were always so quick to go unnoticed
If at all possible

The Quiet Man, mom would call you
Just like the movie

You’d land on my car, right by the door.
Hard as I tried, without harm, I’d shoo you away

And you would, only to land on the steel fence right next to me
Once or twice, even landing on my arm or hand

At the time, you were just another insect
A life that flitted about in search of your purpose

A year later you appeared again
Same coloration, same routine of
car,
shoulder,
fence

And every year after, since, you return
Sure as the seasons

Never before then, though
That’s how I know it’s you

A pleasant surprise, Mr. Squishy
To see you curled up at my legs
Napping away in all your dark glory
Fuzzy and squishy, with just a hint of your fang
A reminder that to squeeze or not to squeeze, is never the question
More like a dare
One I’ll never balk at
Come here!

Marrying you was the happiest moment of my life
That morning I felt so sick
Not because I was nervous
But, because YOU were marrying ME
me
This undeserving soul

All I could think about that morning was,
“I hope She doesn’t change her mind.”
“I hope I look good for her.”
“I hope I do this right.”
“I hope She is as happy as I.”

Gathered at the gazebo, we all waited for the words,
“She’s here.”
I swear I held my breath the entire time
Ran, is not the word.
Dashed, is more like it
Or maybe sped
All I really know, is that when your sister called out,
“She’s here!”
I nearly tripped and fell

If there’s a word for what I was feeling that moment
And every day after
I don’t know it
At least, there isn’t one that can aptly express it
It started as a tingle
Almost like a buzz, that ripples throughout the skin
Deep down into the roots of the soul

Crystalized and holy, that day will forever remind me
Life doesn’t always dictate itself
It’s a risk we all take with every single breath
Matching our decisions with chance encounters
That show us, the way isn’t always sacrificed when we move on
From the fears of trying again
To learn there is meaning in broken hearts
Nothing is beyond fixing
Or finding again

When
I walked into that place
Far removed from my usual spot
Hiding from ghosts of who I was
I found you, as haunted as I,
Looking for solace within the spirit cup
A burning drink of revelry
To cleanse the heart of what ifs
To fill the soul with why nots
I sat and watched you drift from there to here
That place I now know was your haunt
Your eyes not so revel
As you leveled your seventh glass that night
Seemingly drinking the answers
To the questions; all of them maybe?
It wasn’t me, I knew
Your answer

Of the moon I have naught to fear
Her silver breath calms me still

Upon my lake of glass
I ride the placid waves

The rhythm that pounds beneath my breastbone
Tells the tale of my past

Of when the waters did my life spare
Once when I thought myself immortal

The illusion made near deadly
By the my youthful glory

Above the depths rippled my life giving canopy
The mercurial duality of calm and stormy

Panic set upon my heart for all was lost
Until that moment of reprieve

When arms so loving saved me from the depths
Of rubbery boundaries
And I was only three

The comfort of a bed
The warmth of a blanket
Clean water
Hot food
Shelter from the elements
Save from that of surprise
Imagine mine, when I found myself out here
Where the pavement and the mattress are of the same cloth
Double woven asphalt with a hint of Goodyear
Now when momma said, “Don’t you go off and do nothin’ stupid.”
Maybe I should have asked her to be more specific
And maybe not sound quite so insipid
Maybe I’d have been more vigilant
And not so quick to make with the first one I came across
I won’t say it was anyone’s folly, not at all
Yet, there’s a certain sense of injustice
One I cannot shake
For all attempts and purposes
This world has no break
To give or have or even get
Someone is almost always out for just them
Unhappy, and unsatisfied
Even all is what they got
Yet I am here
In this place
Of concrete and asphalt
Scraping for just enough to get by
All the while feeling the wind
Of the elite getting ahead

I’ll not be judgmental of those above
They paved their ways in the way they knew of
While I, of lesser mind, wiled away my time
On life and happiness and being free
Of choosing between their life and mine
Sure it’s not the upper tier
I may not be accepted in the upper echelon
Nor viewed to be redeemable by my own kin
I know I have purpose and worth
A lesson, perhaps
Maybe a cautionary word
Take what you may from these lines I have writ
Everything costs something
But only you can deem the worth

Oh your flavor is ever so tasty
Beef
Pork
Oriental

Though my preference is fowl
I will not balk at the latter
Except for Shrimp
How disgusting

Despite my reservation for the shellfish
With any other I am most selfish

Now don’t mistake my relish for flavor
It’s Chicken Ramen that I most favor

You fed back when bread was scarce
Saved me pennies in my latter years

College and after into my 20’s
You filled my stomach when my cupboard was empty

I see you down there looking snug
Rested, untested, and feeling all smug

Sure you’re fancy
With your stupid umbrella

Drinking your mai tai
Or is it Gin and Tonic

Either way, I can’t stomach you
Or the way you chew your food

I only came here for the fish
Being the far better dish

So here I am on the top level
Looking down on my known devil

You’ll never know, I can say
If it was me or just rain