1. the announcement
I broadcasted the departure – as you
and you on boats,
ferried away from
our resting place,
2. the revokation
I limited the exposure I had to the sun – as you,
and you on beaches,
scurried away from
3. the eviction
Simple. One day.
A remedy, a removal.
Clothes and cleavers stacked into
the back of an unforgettable buggy,
in my absence.
4. the rekindle
All stubborn flames try to re-light
in the wrong exposure,
but I smelled another smoke on your breath,
and I choked us out
5. the sizing
I will never fit into a wedding dress – as you,
and you at weddings
from my eight attempts at an August proposal.
6. the engagement
7. both parts of a narcissist
there is the cause and the effect
for every violent word –
my screaming pinned you to the ground,
your ignorance kept me puking.
you were the c a u s e
and I was the abuse.
I got back
every pin head I put under your foot.
coated them with chocolate
and swallowed them for dessert.
I kept you kept;
you hated your keeper,
not every caged animal
bites the feeder.
10. you said…
“don’t write me as a monster in every poem, I really do love you.”
“You think terrible things about me, and I don’t think I can forgive you for that.”
“I don’t have to listen to you. You aren’t my mother.”
11. i said…
“I won’t. You aren’t a monster, I love you too much.”
12. i thought…
“Stop haunting me. I am living in fear.”
“You did terrible things to me, and I don’t think I can forgive you for that.”
“I wanted to be heard, but who could talk over your anger? I only screamed because your hate was too loud.”
13. the survival
I’ll only say I did. (more…)