The Poetry Marathon

There’s a hummingbird in the flowers and a grasshopper on the back of the pool deck chair
I’ve tried to circumvent my feelings by breathing precisely when in reality, it all belongs to the Divine
Why, oh why, do I hide?
There’s a happy dog on the couch with a toy in its mouth
and I’m eating a yogurt, hiding less
Step-mother starts to clean while I write and I’m
remembering

I can’t help but show my annoyed when she’s proving something
The deception of the face shows itself to me and I want to walk away

I think, ‘talking over someone might as well be yelling’ and she’s doing it right to me
Neither of those, mind, went undisciplined in my childhood home

But who am I to judge the growing up of others, even adults
I’m crying on the inside and clawing out from my brain to fake an easier face and hide my pout

Until I make it, as they say

It’s like ripples in the water but, I’ll be honest, it’s not linear

Sometimes they move and move again and the confusion runs in

and I’m running out but am I actually sinking deeper?

I’m drinking coffee or maybe it’s drinking me…
Time often feeling like pain, a look at the clock is jarring in most ways

I’m hurting and healing

But how do I sit still

lying in wait but someone’s lying to me in this house
cleaning and clearing, trying, and someone’s lying
tired and tired
i’m not in understanding but I’m listening
trying not to be prying

dragging feet to the bathroom to brush my teeth with warm water

my dad would call it the adversary

but i’m quite certain this one’s on me

late, bittersweet like day old oranges

but i

i am alive