The Poetry Marathon

You wasn’t there when I needed you the most
Its like you disappear you went ghost
Was I’m not important to you as your wife
You told me I was your world your whole life
You saw the pain and struggles I was going through with my pregnancy
All I wanted from you is for you to be there for me
One thing I would never understand from you
Is how a husband can kick his pregnant wife out of their home
What man threatened to throw his wife things out if they don’t get out
Everything you put me through I remain loyal and loved you
Through all the pain you put me through
I was there when nobody else was
I loved you unconditionally like a real wife does
I forgave even when you went out with another women
While I was sick and pregnant with our son
Was we not important or was you too busy having your fun
What was your motive when you made up a women to hurt my feelings
Did you want to see me in pain and lose all trust in you
Was that really what you wanted to do
What kind of husband tell they’re wife
that they wish they never married them or even have a baby by them
You broke my heart to many times
But I keep taking you back
Thinking you’re going to change
And be the husband and father you suppose to be
But thats wishful thinking
Now it time for me to think about our son and me
At the end of the day you’re going wish you had your family back
But its going to be to late and another man will have taken your place and show me and our son what a real Man look like

Why are you running
Are you scare of the feelings
you have for me

I feel that you are confuse
These emotions you have
You’re scare to explore

You can admit the physical attraction
We have for one another
But is it more there then you
Are willing to explain

Can you love me
Do you love me
Can you be happy with just me

I was supposed to protect my heart
I wasn’t supposed to give it away
To feel the pain I felt when I first gave my heart away

I was supposed to protect it for falling into the wrong hands
I wasn’t supposed to fall for him
To feel this feelings I felt so long ago but I gave it to the wrong soul

I was supposed to protect it from letting my guard down
I wasn’t supposed to become vulnerable
To feel like he was different from the men I use to deal with

I was supposed to protect it from breaking
I wasn’t supposed to love this hard again
To feel like I actually found someone who could truly love me for me

But i fail my heart tremendously because I didn’t protect it. I gave it away. I let him take it from me. But its not he’s fault because I fall for him and made it easy for him to take the most precious thing from me.

I fail it because I laid my heart on the line
Knowing it will be a possibility it will get broken. But my vulnerable had me thinking if you dont let your guards down how will you every find love.

So to my heart I’m so sorry I let you down. I was supposed to protect you but I thought maybe the right one will find me. But I make this promise to you I will guard you with a purpose that one day someone special will come and protect you.

They will make you forget about that first and let’s pray last heartbreak. They will protect it with all they have. They will make you see, with them you are safe and it will be true love that one and only open handed love. So heart I got you I promise I won’t let you down…

Have you ever felt invisible
Like you could be easily forgotten
If you disappeared today noone would notice
Well let’s not say noone maybe you have three or even one person who would realize your absence
Do you feel like your on a deserted island
All you wish for is someone to come rescue you
Have you every been in a crowded room with family
And you feel isolated like do they see me
Do you ever wonder am I not important to the people who means the world to me
Why I feel like I replaceable no one see me
Have you ever thought about is it me or them
Have I isolate myself
But how can you isolate youreslf when you try and try to sadly to say fit in
Feel like your apart of the family to only feel push out

Imprint
Dark, Cold, Empty
Just distance and loneliness that lay next to me
Where did he go? He was just here…
With his legs wrapped around me
His lips kissing me and his hands 
Caressing every inch of my frame,
But now, all I feel is chills and space
Where he once laid his head next to mine
Where did he go?
Does he know that when he left, he would take every piece of me
Every piece that Was Still Living
Does he know that when he left, 
he left me with this empty, cold feeling of loneliness
He took my mind, all I can remember is the conversations we had.
Conversations about life, goals, and our future while he laid next to me
But now when I look beside me he’s not there
Just an empty space with his body imprint on my sheets
He took my soul when I opened up my heart to him
Thinking he would never go, hoping he would stay and savor this treasure I gave him
He took my spirit away, theres no life in this room
Where our once beautiful relationship was made 
As I look at where he use to lay all I see is an empty space
Where the person I love use to lay, but he left with no concern
about the person who he once said he cared about
All that’s left is me and his imprint on my sheet…
I don’t want to carry him in my heart
I don’t want to consume him in my soul
I don’t want to feel this thing call love
Really what Is love?
I don’t want to hear those words 
I love you…
I don’t want to grasp the emotions
Of being in love
Really does love exist?
I don’t want to feel the embrace, call love making
I don’t want to hold this feeling call affection 
In my heart
Really is this affection of love or lust
I don’t want to think about this thing call love
imprint
Dark, Cold, Empty
Just distance and loneliness that lay next to me
Where did he go? He was just here

Love
Love
Love
Do people even understand the meaning of love anymore
People use the 3 words phrase like there’s no real meaning behind it
I love you means nothing or just something to say when you think its appropriate
Love
Love
Love
Can people truly love just one person
Can the person be enough for that one person
Or are there to many temptations or our mind just so curious that being with one person isnt enough
Love
Love
Love
To much emotions nowadays when you think about love
People feel when you love someone your exceptions grews and sometime that person can’t reach your expectations and you take that as them not loving you
Love
Love
Love
Just love with an open heart, no expectations, clear mind to want to make that person happy without looking elsewhere
Love
Love
Love
When you find that person that truly love you every doubt about love with disappear
Because when they use the 3 words phrase
I love you
Love will be love
Love
Love…..

Honest and contradiction doesn’t mixed
It just leaves a lot of confusion
What truth, what not truth
Is those feelings valid or just valid at this moment
Are you catching feelings or you just caught up with this connection
You said God create me for you
But turn around and say you single
You get mad when I said I have options
But you don’t want any title because its to much expectations
Too much pressure
How would you feel if I decide to walk away
Would you care or even notice I’m not around anymore
Would you realize you lost a good women

What is this feeling that I am experiencing I can’t breathe so many things are running through my head so many emotions I can’t identify. I feel that my heart is still breaking and my trust for anyone has gone away. I feel like I cant trust what anyone say. Even those I feel is being genuine about they’re feelings. Will I every trust again or even love. Or have my past and present situations kept my guarded.

When it looks and feels too good to be true most likely it is
Never fall for the smooth words he tells you
Sometime you might need to question your heart and go with your gut feeling
Never let your guard down once you do it easy to fall for the lies or blind you from the truth
Never put your all into something even if it feels real especially if you have a little doubt
Never put your trust is someone who could eventually break your heart
Never fall in love with someone whose not capable of loving you
Never believe someone who makes you feel like what you have will never end because that’s not reality
Ppl get bored and then they become unfaithful
Never open up because once you do thats when you become valuable and that’s when the boogeyman can take advantage of your heart.
Never fall into their trap because they will tear you apart mentally, physically, emotionally and you’re left with nothing
Just your broken heart and pain

What are all these emotions I’m feeling
Am I falling to deep in my feelings
Am I moving to fast do I need to shut these feelings down

Am what I feeling is real
Or is it his sweet words that have me all in my feelings
Are his words truly genuine or is it a card game that he dealing

Am I falling for the nice guy this time
Or is it boogie man in disguise
Waiting to build my hopes up then tear it all down at a drop of a dime

Am I letting my past interfere with my future
Or is this a sign I should keep my guard up
I’m so afraid of all these feelings
I feel like running and just leaving

Am I running from a good man who can truly love me
Or is this fate thats warning me that this right here not ment to be

Could he be what I truly need
Or is it me that is wounded and want this to be
Be what I always wanted and all these emotions i feel inside
Is it me making it something that’s really is nothing

But what if he’s the one that can change my whole world
What if his feelings are genuine for me
Am I going to run from these feelings because I’m scare to see if this man could be what I need

I need a sign to show me where this so call relationship we have going on is a path I need to take or should I run away because it just a fantasy I don’t want to escape
My heart can’t take anymore heartache
So I need a sign to give me a peace of mind