Poem Twenty-Three ~ Disappointment

What could be the difference between waking to a cloudy morning and a sunny afternoon?

The cool earliness alludes to a hot stillness of the midday sun.

How easily one thing turns into another.

Poem Twenty-One ~ Dear Zachary

Dear Zachary,
I promised I wouldn’t make a poem like this, after Hailey made her’s,
but I feel like I kind of have to?
I owe you these words.

Zachary, I started hormones recently.
Only about two months ago now.
We had no idea that someone could feel this good about themselves.
And oddly, I still hurt.
Though, it isn’t surprising.
There’s still a lot I have to do.

Zachary, I kept your middle name until I started hormones.
I was unwilling to give up the middle initial, but
I couldn’t keep the name forever.
And, unfortunately, like Theroux, Mira didn’t fit.
It’s Jade now, though.
I hope you like it.

Zachary, Mom accepts us now, though it took a while.
I know you never thought it would happen, but
we can talk about being sick openly with her.
She is starting to respect me, I think.
I wish she knew how to respect you.
Maybe you wouldn’t have been as fucked up.

Zachary, you starved to death.
What killed you is what gave birth to me, and
I still have trouble with it sometimes.
Often, you pop into my mind when my throat
tightens too much to swallow.
I wish you could give me any kind of strength.

Zachary, I came out to Gramma and Grandpa.
Though, I can never tell them we’re pansexual
(or demiromantic – that’s a thing now, by the way).
It went a lot better than we ever could have imagined.
Though, it sure helps that I didn’t need to pack
just in case I got kicked out.

Zachary, the world can be beautiful.
There’s beautiful people in it that you never got to meet.
It’s bittersweet.
You should have taken your meds instead of hiding it
under your tongue.
You never loved yourself, so you didn’t live long enough
to meet all the wonderful people that love me now.
I have a friend that let me stay in her house for three weeks!

Zachary, I wish that people loved you.
I wish that they didn’t take advantage of a scared boy,
I wish they didn’t convince you that you were only worth something
when they got you in bed and I wish they didn’t tell you
that you weren’t supposed to be me, because I love you
more than they ever did.
Guess who left them?
I did.

Zachary, part of me wishes you were here.
I’m glad you’re gone, though.
Because part of me is still an echo of you
that resonates with how painfully you thought of yourself.
That echo tells me I would be less valid with you here.

Dear Zachary, I am saying good-bye to you.
No one says your name anymore.



Poem Nineteen ~ Lilypads

Water pond lily pads so they may bloom, flowering great rose pink flowers upon their flat algae green surfaces. Homely for frogs of all size, saving shelter to generations to come. Partial favour towards the flavour of pink, brighter hues imbue brighter frogs.

Great pearl storks stalk the
great big lake for weak tadpools;
Darwin code at work.

Poem Eighteen ~ Blue Rings of Death

Long tentacles
with suction cup ends.
Sharp beak, dripping
with poison –
drip, drop, dripping into
the veins of its prey.
Careful, or it may prey
on you, though only if
you are smaller than
a golf ball.
Brilliant blue hues shine
out to the lucky viewer
when the unlucky victim
moves too close; the rings of death.

blue ringed octopus

Poem Seventeen ~ His Name…

His name is Chris.
His lips are poisonous.
His mind is multi-faceted.
His penis is loose.
His hands are corrupt.
His tongue is silver-lined.
His laugh is forged.
His love is betrayal.
His heart was never mine.
His name is Chris.

Poem Sixteen ~ Rug Burns

Rugs can burn hotter than any blue flame.
Rugs sting harder than any buzzing wasp.

My knees are shaking beneath my weight.
How much longer until I start crying in pain?

The cold central air gives me goosebumps.
I wish I could put my shirt back about now.

The fresh holes in my jeans are welcome.
Rugs still burn hotter than any blue flame.

Poem Fifteen ~ Time Bomb/Pacemaker

Waking up is hard.
Who needs to shower?
I’m not hungry.
This dress isn’t clean.
I just don’t care.
The sun is too bright.
I’m so unmotivated.
It’s already dark?
It’s 9pm somewhere.
My pacemaker stopped hours ago.

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