To my darling

My dearest sleep

Dear Sleep

To Sleep –

I hope this note finds you well. I believe it is time for us

to be on the same page regarding our needs and desires.

It is my goal that this note better communicates to you

my part in our relationship, and how I respond to your

part of our relationship.

Our conflict began early, when you gave me my first

hypnogogic hallucination when I was five years old.

It was in the afternoon, I was tired. I saw the kitchen

erupt into fire! Terrified, I ran through the flames for

my mother’s help, not noticing that I felt no heat from

the conflagration. Upon our return, the flames were gone!

Nothing was on fire. I was confused. Mom scolded me

for lying. I needed a nap.

The cataplexy erupted ten years later. I was trying to live

with severe insomnia, nightmares and night terrors,

sleepwalking, sleep talking, automatic behavior and more.

Suddenly I was collapsing at the knees with laughter or tears.

Then I fell out of the shower, hit my head on the toilet,

knocked myself unconscious. I know you remember that!

I would soon learn that I was a perpetual “FALL RISK.”

 

DIAGNOSIS: Type 1 Narcolepsy, aka Narcolepsy with Cataplexy

A neurologically based sleep disorder, autoimmune in nature

 

So! Here we are, Sleep, my deeply disordered life partner…

I must be honest with you. I am frustrated. I am often angry!

I have been cheated by you; cheated out of childhood, education,

friends, love, travel, career, family… You have cheated me

so many times! I did not consent to this relationship with you.

I am forever chained to you, freedom never wholly mine.

I am at your mercy. You have stolen from me.

You have made me undesirable…

My Disordered Sleep,

you are the worst bedfellow a girl would never ask for!

Could we please discuss a separation?

It has been decades and I really need a break.

Thank you.

Sincerely

Respectfully

Talk soon

I hate you

From,

Your Life Partner (me)