You’re gonna screw up no matter how carefully you tread
But here’s a couple pointers to help you get ahead
 
It’s a drag to move out west, but it works fine so stay the course
It’s a waste to buy insurance, you’re as healthy as a horse
 
Pats beat the Seahawks in ’14, so take that bet
Don’t drop out of college till you’re 20 grand in debt
 
Marry your first girlfriend, she’s better than she seems
Don’t sell your bitcoin until March 2018
 
Start buying gin, it’ll save you money over beer
And remember, the best decision I ever made was trying to turn writing into a career
 
 
 

good luck dude, I got your back