The morning I heard

I was at work

Doubtful at first od the source

Confident it was just a rumor

My heart plummeted

When the truth spoke up

I tried to run, to leave, to flee

But my legs failed

And I fell to my knees

A horrible cry escaping from me

Tears blinded all I could see

I haven’t been the same

Since that day

I miss you more and more

With the passing time

They say it gets easier

Learning to live without them

But I’m still waiting

For my heart to stop aching

For the familiar scenes to stop replaying

For people to stop expecting

That nothing’s changed

The day you died

You took the person I was

And left someone in my place

Expected them to clean up the mess that we made.

It’s been almost 4 years

And my life is quite different

The world didn’t stop

I had to keep on living

But for just a moment

The world stopped spinning

It left me held, suspended

Ever since, I feel upside down

This isn’t the dream we shared

It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way

Survivor’s guilt is all that accompanies me

It’s the worst part of death

That I hate

How you just get stuck

Fantasizing

What it’d be like

If they were still living

Preventing yourself from moving on

I’m still just hanging here on a moment

Praying I’ll see you again

And you’ll hold me close

Just like you used to

And finally,

Everything will feel alright again.