The part of her that was your lover has nearly dissipated. The part of her that you could calm with a smile  or a wink, her sweetheart part, she buried along with you three years ago. She is raw and untamed, unflinchingly callous. She is bitter that she isn’t with you yet, and fearful that her god will let her down, and you won’t be hers when she gets there. This is where she should be though, angry, deeply,  roughly angry. Her pain is palpable, and her grief is sharp, and takes prisoners.

I hope it is just a phase in her grief, not simply a part of who she was before your love softened her heart, and made her the woman I knew before you left us. I hope it is. But, if is isn’t, maybe you could come over sometime, and out your arms around her while she sleeps in her chair next to yours, and remind her the she will always be your love, and that you will wait for her forever?