There’s never been a worse time than too late

Ever after nothing matters the past has passed and will not retreat

no matter how you entreat

implore beseech beg
supplicate

on knees, clenched fists

the tears of salt and blood

I failed to be your savior

even now I admit you would despise the sentiment

strong willed, brilliant mind and a heart of pure..

I can’t say the word.

Its just a stupid word.

I have been a gore-mand and yet I’m so afraid, so keenly afraid and so morbidly attuned that I fear

I am a hypocrite, for all the detestable scenes that I’ve attuned myself to

and yet a word runs like a ice through my spine and drips like acid from my core

fire

the gift of life and the element of my insanity

it took you away from me and I cannot reconcile that

my princess, my love, my pride and my joy and many things that words can only cheapen

yet I’ve tried to write it all down for you I ran out of time I never got to say Goodbye

and even if I had, it would never be enough

You were destined for greatness and still kept an open heart

If ever was created a being near perfection it was you my dear

I never was quite good enough, I could never measure up

I failed at giving and loving and especially protecting

I ran out of time to say all the things I needed to tell you,

how proud and satisfied and mesmerized of you I truly was

I’ve sat down to write you this letter many dozen times now and I can never get through it

either the tears or some strange belief that admitting it would make it true,

even though it’s been years since I’ve seen you