a brother 

I can’t believe Ryan found him
& not me , not that it matters.

The fact he’s found is far more
Important than who found him.

But he’s thin so so thin. Muffled noise
Beneath my arms: Stell I can’t breathe.

Right , of course. I let him go
Even though I really don’t want to.

I could barely believe my eyes
Seeing him walking beside Rueben.

Clearly talking machine-gun fast as always
Explaining something about mandalas.

He’d watched monks on YouTube
Spend hours making beautiful patterns

Out of coloured sand , taking days
Before sweeping them all away.

Still stunned , I wasn’t keeping up.
What have mandalas & monks to do with us.

S’Where I got the idea of sweeping the sand
Behind me everywhere I went. Disguise.

I still didn’t follow. It didn’t matter.
Ryan smiled down at him. Rubbed his hair.

How to make him mine again. You hungry Rube.
Oh Stell. Like you wouldn’t believe.

& just like that — he was back