Ten years ago,

My head floated like a balloon

above everything

imagining the best.

Ten years ago,

my body worked better.

It has always felt weighed down.

But not like today

as it holds me prisoner.

Ten years ago,

Hope was still in every dream

Hope now is

erased in events and cynicism.

Ten years ago,

all was as it should be.

Ten years ago,

the world didn’t scare me.

It didn’t wake me up at night,

it didn’t cry for my help.

Today I see more darkness

than light.

More coldness than warmth.

More grief, more anger.

Ten years ago,

I was a shell of who I am today.