Got to thinking today

If you had lived

If I had carried you to term

If we had finished what we started

You would be about 14 now

We’d be worried about sex

Fighting over curfews

And doing your chores

I would be practiced at being a mom

You’d be lost between being

A small child

And a blossoming adult

I would watch you with pride

Be disappointed if you failed

You’d be thinking about driving

Wondering about high school

Imagining your wedding day

And how many kids you would have

Your dreams would be Oscars and Emmys

Grammys and being president

You would be dreaming of long travels

To foreign lands

You’d be learning to be brave and generous

Selfish and timid

Reckless and responsible

You’d be looking in the mirror

Conscious of your clothes

Worried over a pimple

Brushing your hair over and over again

If you had lived

If I had carried you to term

If we had finished what we started

You’d be 14 now

You would hold my imagination

Rather than being a figment of it

You would be beautiful and smart

Awkward and helpless

Strong and dependant

And I would smile and worry

You are the child I never knew

But who lives in my heart

Every single day

For fourteen years