My footsteps weigh heavy
upon the timber floorboards 
of this ancient house.

It gets really quiet at night,
the silence screams in my ear.
Echoes remanent... haunting in the distance.
Emptiness feels heavy and dark.
Full of regrets and dense with secrets.

Sometimes it is silence that keeps me up at night.
My senses -heightened
Alerted- fearsome
I never like the night
cause it pierces my eyes,

The darkness seems scary
Like an endless gaping hole of abyss
prying open and starring back 
Penetrating and peeling 
my layers of fear 
just for fun.

The cold gets under my skin
it bites my bones.
Sends shivers down my spine.
My body is in search of heat 
to compensate for the chill in the air.
I breathe heavy, water vaporizes into ice 
and clouds seem float out. 

A waft of familiarity hangs heavy 
The fragrance of Fried onions, turmeric, 
paprika, garlic and ginger paste
lingering on... from the evening cooking.
It's my mother's food. 
I tried her recipe of lentil and spinach curry  
and it turned out delicious.
It tasted like home. 
It soothes my nerves. 
It gives me peace.

Tonight I sleep with a full belly
knowing that I am much closer to home
in my heart and in my stomach.


-Janice Raquela Mendonca