Recipe for the Ultimate Beach Experience


  1. A book off the bestseller list or just something from the $1.00 bookshelves. Anything will do.
  2. “The Big Three.” Otherwise known as your trusty beach umbrella, chair, and sunglasses.

[Sunscreen is optional as it could stain the pages of your book]

  1. An endless amount of sand under your toes
  2. The sun burning hot on a cloudless day
  3. Ocean waves rolling endlessly before you



  1. Put on your sunglasses.
  2. Scour the beach for the perfect place. I suggest one near a lifeguard. When asleep or engrossed in your book, you may not see the tide rising. It is best to play it safe.
  3. After reaching the perfect place, bury your umbrella in the sand. I suggest anchoring it securely so that it does not blow away. If that occurs, it will ruin the ambiance created due to the frustration brought on by chasing your umbrella across the beach.
  4. After securing your umbrella, set your chair directly towards the ocean. I suggest an unobstructed view of the water for maximum relaxation.
  5. After the chair is to your liking, sit in the chair and adjust yourself so that your body is out of direct contact with the sun. I suggest you watch your feet, as they always seem to inch out into the sunlight and become sunburned.
  6. Now, bury your toes in the sand and squirm your derriere until you are most comfortable.
  7. Pick up your book and beginning reading.
  8. Let yourself drift away into endless euphoria.
  9. Repeat as needed.

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