My Best Friend

 

My best friend always bites me,

She’s happy drawing blood

Though I know she loves me,

She’d kill me if she could.

 

She eats me out of house and home

And makes me take her crap

And though she lives inside my home

I’ve only seen her nap

 

She never works, she’ll never help,

Just lays around all day

But even if I could get help,

she’d never go away.

 

In the end I love her like I love nobody else

Because even when she hurts me, it’s just a minor flog

And as something else,

My landlord won’t let me have a dog.