In Denver, Colorado grown and raised,
in the laboratory’s where I spent most of my days;
flippin’ switches, linkin’ gadgets, mixin’ potions so neat
makin science discoveries that couldn’t be beat.
Then a couple o’ dudes who were bein’ so rude
started talkin’ smack about my Hubbard Review
I made one little threat and my peers got scared and said
“We’re shuttin ya down, then we’ll get outta your hair.”

I knocked em out cold and when they came to
they were in my time travel pod halfway through.
Where exactly we were I had no idea.
I said “who remembers your prehistoric trivia?”

We launched outta the pod around 150 million BC
and I yelled to my colleagues “check these sphinx moths, ya see?”
Looked around at my jungle and visited time and again,
tamed me a dino, became the first of cave men.