I longed to walk among you as a child.
You were sophisticated, sparkly, and accomplished.
Living adventures I so desperately wished were real.
Small town or big city, it didn’t matter.
I grew up, stuck in the unseen world of not knowing how to break free.
I could never seem to find the right door, so I created my own.
Seen only by a few, still unseen by the majority.
Stuck in a world I wanted to crawl out of, always on the outside looking in.
Trapped in a body that can’t be still, my neurons constantly misfiring.
Trapped in a body that is failing, no matter the rigorous training I put it through.
I count the minute hands of every clock, waiting for it to implode.
This is not life.