At twenty years old
I gave up all my crutches
All my fears returned.
I’d wasted three years
Had nothing to show
And no more money to burn.
All the fear came back
And brought more with it
Leaving me helpless and alone.
Full panic attacks now
Afraid to live, afraid to die
I knew my hope was gone.
One day my sister – married now –
Asked me to come to church.
I was raised that way, what could it hurt?
When I went that night I felt something
That made tears run down my face.
It was acceptance, it was love, I felt my path divert.
It doesn’t mean that all was great
Like someone waved a magic wand,
But things had turned for better now.
I had new friends, good examples to watch
Smarter choices, calmer living, smiles instead of frowns
Though my father tried to pull me back, that, I would not allow.
Contentment and hope.
I never looked back
Everything was new
I was cleaned by more than soap.