At twenty years old

I gave up all my crutches

All my fears returned.

I’d wasted three years

Had nothing to show

And no more money to burn.


All the fear came back

And brought more with it

Leaving me helpless and alone.

Full panic attacks now

Afraid to live, afraid to die

I knew my hope was gone.


One day my sister – married now –

Asked me to come to church.

I was raised that way, what could it hurt?

When I went that night I felt something

That made tears run down my face.

It was acceptance, it was love, I felt my path divert.


It doesn’t mean that all was great

Like someone waved a magic wand,

But things had turned for better now.

I had new friends, good examples to watch

Smarter choices, calmer living, smiles instead of frowns

Though my father tried to pull me back, that, I would not allow.


Peace, quiet

Happiness, joy

Contentment and hope.

I never looked back

Everything was new

I was cleaned by more than soap.

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