Listening to “On the Nature of Daylight” by Max Richter.

There is an image of you I love
You are dancing in the garden, just right after checking on the plants
Planting a kiss on my forehead, you spin me in the air
The air smells of summer and sunshine and peace
Peace is how I describe those times.

There is a memory of you that remains unclear
Unclear because I do not remember if you had an apron on
On the island I sat, waiting as you counted down the seconds to the oven alarm
Alarmed, you ran to get the oven mitt before you pulled out the cake
Cakes are reminders that I once had my heart loved beyond bounds

Memories of our running around. Memories of catch and hide and seek. Your love has made my life well-lived
You lived as an angel in human body, spreading your love like wings to touch everyone
And everyone may try but they’ll never be the angel you were.

“A heart that’s broken is a heart that’s been loved”
Loved. I’ve touched the emotion, now it is a thing of the past.
In the past, you sang me lullaby’s, gave me hugs and a thousand kisses
Kisses that brought good dreams
Same dreams I now force myself to have playing Ed Sheeran’s ‘Supermarket flowers’
Supermarket flowers are a reminder of the fake flowers people dropped at your rest side
A side of my heart feels thorn that we cannot go back
Back to when my memories were joyful moments happening

I thought we’d grow old side-by side
I thought we’d coo at my children and laugh at their baby jokes
Side-by-side was the goal
But you slipped away when I wasn’t looking