I’ve never been the type to make a fuss

I keep my head down

Let other’s walk in bigger and louder strides

 

And when he asked me if I wanted to call someone

to help me

I wish I had said yes.

 

I was seventeen and thought I knew everything

hard-headed

self sufficient

 

But this was an instance where even the strongest people’s

facades will crack and weather

and crumble

 

I felt the initial fracture

and if I had said yes

maybe I could have prevented the canyons that formed

 

I wish I had said,

yes, I need help

but I didn’t

 

I buried my face in a blanket

and laid in the grass

wet and cold on my back

 

An ice pack trying to soothe the swelling

inside

and I wish I had said yes

 

Things turned because of the absence of

yes

I said No No No No

 

I pushed

I pushed you have to believe me

I shut my eyes tight and tried to breathe

 

No

Yes

Ow stoppit you’re hurting me

 

Flashing lights and car alarms

No

No

Please no