She makes me feel like her student
Kissing at the feet of my naked guru
Giving me a purity of thought beyond my concepts
integrating the parts of me
Asking me what I need
Giving me what I ask
Caring about her footprints
Humbling me
Opening up my child
Making it feel ok
I don’t have to hide
She lets me be vulnerable
There is no shame in being broken
Six degrees later and only now I feel like I am learning
How can I preserve such a treasure
She is given to the world
She is my seminar
I don’t learn any anecdotes
She reaches in and shows me myself
Patience beyond any mother
Compassion utterly beyond my own
How can I be worthy of such love
How can I become like that
All my pretensions fail
I flounder in having anything to offer
Another poet she made in her school
Her devotees are endless
How arrogant am I to seek to be chief Chela
I don’t know how to be – then I never knew how to be
But only with her do I see it
An unmoved limb pathetically flaps in me
Helpless
Struggling
Makes me desperate for her gaze
As I know she can see me
I don’t get seen – I hide with security so complex
How can I live now
The scales fall from my eyes
I am so transformed and yet still me
Maybe this is what calmness feels like
I know there are others – yet she makes me feel the one
What a terrible demanding child I am
I just forgot I never got this
I forgot that behind it all
The way to calm the constant whirl
Which is so constant I thought it normal
Is just to be accepted
I am so afraid of this unknown.