i didn’t say it back.
i think that i thought that i felt it
& if i said it i’d mean it
but i wanted to give her more than words;

she deserved that.
so i wrapped my words in fear and hesitance.
and made a newly-inked to-do list
of proof i wanted to proffer:

an introduction to my parents
& an accepted invitation to meet hers;
space for herself in my room, not just my bed;
the book she’d given me to read, returned, broken-spined and well-read.

but
i was slow-moving.
she was moving away.
i didn’t say it back & haven’t said it since.

if i said it to her now
i would mean it.
i don’t know if she still does.
that is not the important part.

to find out if she wants any words from me at all
i would have to speak to her.
i do not know if that should be on the list
of things she deserves from me.