Provoked by self deception
Led on by their cravings
And attachments-
Naive suffer
2 thoughts on “Poem 12( Haiku)”
Want to be supportive, yet…
Haiku are three lines. The syllable pattern of those lines has to be 5-7-5 or it isn’t haiku.
This poem with fours lines is labeled as haiku. The previous poem labeled haiku has three lines, but the syllable counts on each line are not 5 – 7 – 5.
I have a harder time reading the actual poem and appreciating it for what it is when the thing is mislabeled.
Count lines and syllables or leave off the haiku label. I’ll have an easier time reading your work.
I like the imagery about self-created suffering. It’s perceptive and deftly drawn.
Want to be supportive, yet…
Haiku are three lines. The syllable pattern of those lines has to be 5-7-5 or it isn’t haiku.
This poem with fours lines is labeled as haiku. The previous poem labeled haiku has three lines, but the syllable counts on each line are not 5 – 7 – 5.
I have a harder time reading the actual poem and appreciating it for what it is when the thing is mislabeled.
Count lines and syllables or leave off the haiku label. I’ll have an easier time reading your work.
I like the imagery about self-created suffering. It’s perceptive and deftly drawn.
Thanks Laurel for the feedback and constructive criticism , I really appreciate it. I cannot count very :-)).
Hope to edit the lines/ poem soon.