Beautiful

 

31 years ago I grew in your womb

30 years ago I was born

And I wonder if you looked at me in complete awe, knowing that for 9 months we were connected, we shared a body, that kind of bond should last a life time

15 years ago we stood in front of a mirror, your words sliced through me

“why cant you be pretty like your sister”

and in that instant, I shattered.

12 years ago, I left your broken nest and flew across the country

My wings barely worked, but they carried me away from you

They carried me away from the..

“why cant you be pretty like your sister”

“you need to stop gaining weight”

“walk 20 feet behind me so no one knows you are with me”

“you were so pretty before you cut your hair”

10 years ago I was free

3,000 miles away your words still hurt

8 years ago I peed on a stick, a plus sign stared right at me

I was now growing someone, we shared a body

and when she was born

I was in awe

7 years ago I held her in my arms and told her how beautiful she was

6 years ago I held her in my arms and told her how beautiful she was

5 years ago I held her in my arms and told her how beautiful she was

4 years ago I held her in my arms and told her how beautiful she was

3 years ago I held her in my arms and told her how beautiful she was

2 years ago I held her in my arms and told her how beautiful she was

1 year ago I held her in my arms and told her how beautiful she was

5 days ago, I held her in my arms and told her how beautiful she is.

“why do you always tell me how beautiful I am” she asks

I smile and say because I never want you to go a moment in your life not feeling beautiful

She took my hands in her face and said “mommy you are beautiful”

and in that instant

those pieces that were shattered

glued themselves back together

 

 

11 thoughts on “Beautiful

  1. I love this. I smiled. If I hadn’t just woken up, I’d be bawling. *stuttering* You are an AMAZING poet! Wow. I liked your stuff before, but, now you have one more true fan. Thank you for this.

  2. This is deep and touching and wonderfully written. I looked at it to see why so many people liked it.
    I have trouble with people who value or disvalue people by their appearance, so I agree with that part of your poem.
    My parents didn’t say “I love you” and somehow I raised two beautiful children who always insist on saying “I love you” when we say goodbye on the phone. I think it is because, like your poem, they got the message they were loved.
    This poem is a wonderful self-affirmation and act of self love, and the beauty that transcends popular fashion.
    You sketch your mother so vividly and economically. I have to restrain the urge to accidentally bump her into traffic.

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