A bunch full of flowers in the hands
Colorful and beautiful
Flow out to spread fragrance
In the house
A bunch full of thoughts in the mind
Wise and wonderful
Flow out to spread brilliance
In the conscience
A bunch full of virtues in the heart
Powerful and truthful
Flow out to spread oneness
In the life
Nice simple structure
Lovely sentiments
Though I’m wondering whether there’s a fraction too much repetition in such a short poem.
8 *full sounds in 12 lines
“A bunch of flowers” is stronger than “A bunch full of flowers”
Also for verse 2&3 could you use poesy & bouquet (or other words) just to give line more variety & colour
& finally instead of “flow” each verse could the word connect to the subject — ie “pump out to spread oneness” (or “beat” or “pulse” or something other word connected to blood/the heart)
Hope this helps
Thank you so for the feedback!!
Yes that is a very good suggestion. I guess at that hour I could’ve hardly thought of anything better!