I Remember-Hour 14

Thunder rumbles in the distance

I remember

Claps of thunder waking me from a dead sleep

Lightening snapping

The hot smell, the sizzle

The electricity charging the air

 

I remember the clouds swirling

Twirling,

The sky turning a sinister green gray

Shifting the world

From a warm summer’s day

to a frightening night

Huddled in basements

 

I remember cold so bitter

My snot froze

Ice coated windshields

Frozen fingers and toes

Thawing by the heater, numb

 

I remember my dog jumping on my lap

Thunder making him shake and shiver

Giant softball hail breaking windows and pelting cars

 

I remember excesses

Tornadoes leveling neighborhoods

Trailers twisted

Debris flying

 

An ice storm so bad power went out

Poles downed from the weight

Whole towns closed

Streets undrivable

 

I remember flooding

Underpasses closed

Basements full

 

I remember lightening flashing like a strobe

Through sheets of rain

 

Glad to be safe, in the middle of the ocean

Lightening an interesting phenomena no one fears

Rain is just rain

Snow is an anomaly

Not an ice storm to be had

Just palm trees sweeping the sky

The wind gentle and kind

High tides just enough

To delight the surfers

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nightmares-Hour 13

I wake up

My nightmares still swirling in my head

No amount of positivity can shake it

These days are dark

Pandemics, treason

Murderers caught on video

Riots, treason in broad daylight

Watching the news hurts

Sleep should be the escape

A few hours free of this chaos

Instead my dreams become as bad as being awake

These times we see how powerless we are

How powerless I am

The chaotic nightmare

Is where we are

I try to stay distant

I try to stay safe

But we are holding on

At the edge of a cliff

No rescuer

No ability to lift ourselves up

We are in a tornado

I lay down, wishing for rest

Praying for redemption

For rescue

I am safe until the nightmares begin

I wake up shaking

To find reality is worse

 

 

 

Love-Hour 12

Behind every veil, behind every self doubt, every angry moment

I have tried to block the light, a curtain drawn across the face of love,

Yet love always wins, It’s light remains undimmed

Light unfolds, illuminates

I light a candle in a darkened room

I allow love to direct me, bathe me, enlighten me

I expose the darkness, I expose the hurt

I heal the pain, I am changed

 

Only Love is real

Paris-Hour 11

I imagine a cafe

On the Champs-Elysees

Sipping tall glasses of French wine

At sunset

 

I imagine a walk along the Seine

Hands held tight

The sun going down

The moon coming up

City lights reflecting over and over

Like a fairyland

 

I imagine The Eiffel Towel

Standing tall in the night sky

Beckoning us to climb up to the sky

To see the city from it’s perspective

 

I imagine the Moulin Rouge

The Arc de Triophe

Strolling through the Louvre

Notre Dame de Paris

 

Poetry dripping from my fingers

As the City of Lights

Sings to us

A French lullaby

 

I fall asleep in an ancient hotel

French ghosts whispering

Bonne Nuit- good night

 

 

 

Hair 2-Hour 10

Once upon a time

I curled my hair

Curling iron in hand

Curlers pressing against my head

Anything to make the straight go away

Soon I embraced my straightness

I allowed it to be flat and lifeless

I let it grow long

Past the point where it got stuck in car doors

Past the point where I would sit on it and pull my head

I cut it to shoulder length

Then to above my ears

I pinned it, put it in pony tails

Pig tails, braids

Short, long and everything in-between

Until one day

15 days from my first chemo

I found it in clumps

It was shaved that day, then shaved again

I saw my head

I saw the bumps and the scars

I found out I am more than my hair

More than some preconception

Of how a woman should look

I was more than balding

I was more than receding

I was bald

Now as it grows back

Uncontrollable

I still see how I looked before

A warrior without hair

I will never see those strands the same way again

I will brush and style and love my curls

No longer afraid

Of nothing there

My life a before and after shot

Before the cancer and survivor

From flat to bald to curls

 

 

 

Firefly-Hour 9

There is a Firefly in a bottle

Rattling

It wears a strange mask

Of wonder

As it zooms

back and forth

The heat of the cottage

Midsummer

Is unbearable

The tree-line barely visible

against the dark sky

The firefly lands

In the bottle bottom

Looking out into a strange world

Unfamiliar

It grows lethargic, lost

A prisoner of a child

Who will reject it’s porridge

On morning light

Unwilling to let it go

 

Hair-Hour 8

My hair came back

No longer bald, or stubbled

My hair grew in

New and exciting

Gray, curly

Out of control

Cowlicks

Sways this way

Swirls that way

I have eyelashes again

Eyebrows

Nose hair

and a bushy brilliant

Out of control

Crazy hairdo

Bald spots gone

Replaced with

a tangled web

A mess of hair

Shampoo is back

Hair brushes

Hair conditioner

No tossing beanies and hats

No throwing out scarves tho

My hair is back

But it needs hidden

Until it decides to behave

 

 

 

Seasons- Hour 7

On Maui there are no seasons

Not really

There is hot season, cool season, Christmas season

When the whales are here

And when the aren’t

We are in the hot season now

No whales

Summer they call it

But it looks like every other day

Just a might bit warmer- the days a touch longer

 

Maui time is real

We forget to use clocks

We forget what day it is

What month

Surrounded by intense beauty

Lackadaisical

Hard to tell the hippies from the business people

Poets are everywhere

Painters and musicians live amongst us

Shoes are optional

The ocean and sand are our constants

 

Sometimes I miss the falling colors

The first snow

The fresh blooms of spring

Most days I don’t

I am in the season of my life

Twirling in the ocean’s spell

Hypnotized by the palm tree sway

Carried into seasons without any signposts

Drifting, swimming  timeless

 

l

Ideal-Hour 6

 

Your lips gently graze mine

Our hands melded together

Their warmth touching my heart

The ocean mist caresses our cheeks

The sun begins it’s dip

Blazing the sky with soft yellows, soothing pinks

A hint of deep purple

Birds swipe at the sky with their wings

Squawking

Diving for one last morsel before bed

We click our cameras

Trying to hold this moment

for eternity

But no picture can capture the cold wind

The soft sea reflecting it’s partner the sky

The sun leaving

Ending it’s sovereignty for the moon

We only speak to say “I love you”

Knowing those words include the universe

The sky, the ocean, the birds, the colors

The soft sand and the knowing

Moments are fleeting

Time will bring another sunset

But not another day like today

Snaphots-Hour 5

I see you

On a hilltop

Your arms spread

To touch the sky

The milky way above you

Stars misting around you

 

I  see you

 

Melting above the sun

Clamoring for brilliance and riches

Defying reality, denying it

A swirling dichotomy

Of delusion and dreamer

Soft

Silky

Spun by stars

 

I  see you

 

Soaking up the moonlight

Moonbeams exploding from your fingertips

Shimmering

In the brilliant night sky

Caressing my soul

With your invisible hands

 

I  see you

 

Disappearing

A spirit soaring above the trees

Gliding on the gentlest breeze

A memory

A vapor

That never existed

 

I see you