Letter to an Old Friend- Hour 4

It’s been a long time

A decade at least

We failed our friendship

Again

I think about you, wonder

But always cautiously

Never willing to reach out

Never able to forgive

Our path together was always divergent

Always caught up in egos and prejudices

I know I can never trust you

Never believe in you

 

I wonder if our paths will converge again

If I will be ignorant enough

To fall under your spell

What I crave can kill me

What I hate can keep me strong

 

Our karma too thick

Too murky

Too dangerous

I keep you far away

To keep my heart safe,

My life calm.

 

You my greatest foe

My soulmate of sorrow

My constant refrain of decay

Wasted, crumbling

Deterioration

So much we could have done

It’s a wonder we survived

 

Just Before Dawn-Hour 3

My senses

Overloaded by this dark night

Dawn approaching

I can smell it in the sea air

The sweet sounds of quiet

The sweet air of isolation

The birds haven’t woken up yet

The world is still waiting for it’s alarms

I sit transfixed

The dark night sculpted

By a maker I will never understand

For a purpose that awaits me

The Silence whispers

The Quiet sooths

Motionless

Awaiting daylight’s resplendence

and it’s quieting

This crescendo of silence

Recipe for The Poetry Marathon- Hour 2

First grab your courage

Sign up, sign in

Take your pledge to follow through

 

Stare at the screen, white and pristine

Hear it sing in quiet words

Floating about above your head

 

Place your fingers

Carefully on the keys

Make them dance around

Pulling words from the air

Light, airy,

Dark, destructive

 

Entice the muses

Make them your friend

Sit them on your shoulder to watch

Feed them coffee and Cheez-Its

Play with them

Amuse them

 

Form the poem

Structure

Simile, metaphor

Random musings

Rhythm, rhyme

Freedom to galivant

Bring in heroes, villains

A piece of toast

 

Edit it

Publish it

Send it out into the world

Your baby into the ethers

Sit back, relax

Until the hour is done

Sip your coffee, pet your muse

Repeat

 

 

To Julia Cameron

She stalks my doubts

A post of encouragement

Random, simple

A nudge if you will

She knows my dreams

She tells me

I will make them come true

I must give my creative a chance

Smash my inner demons

She gives me hope

A small kick to push me onwards

A small whisper

A loud reverberation in my tired soul

She showed me my critic

She taught me to play

An “Artist’s Way”

To the “Vein of Gold”

Yes I have a “Right to Write”

My Companion for “Walking in This World”

 

Thank you for your honesty Julia

 

Thank you

For changing my life

You were there when I needed you most

You opened me up

Showed me the way

You chopped through my doubts

And revealed my path

You keep me steady

You keep me sane

Hour 24-Done

We have come to an end

At long last

Eyes droop

Body sighs

Another year’s event

All tidied up into 24 musings

Sleep deprived

We face our computers

Giving it one last hurrah

The hour is late

The day was long done

Tomorrow is today

I am complete

I am shaken from sanity

The work is tucked away

Done Finished The End

Childhood-Hour 23

Part One- I am my parents’ daughter

I carry their poverty

Their goodness

Their work ethic

Their sadness

Their height

Their love of music and books

Part 2

I am the youngest

Made fun of by siblings

I was the smallest

The weakest

Smart, but not smart enough

Always unable to measure up

In stature and in life

Part 3

Books saved me

Gave me a place to hide

Gave me a world to explore

Gave me hope in darkness

Gave me a family I could be a part of

Part 4

I was alone too much

I lived in fictional worlds

I made up in my head

At some point I wrote them down

That saved me

And destroyed me too

Part 5

I grew up in a town I hated

Sometimes I still miss it

Everyday I dreamed of better places

Still I am the Nebraska girl

But gone is her innocence and stamina

Nebraska is no place for a writer

Part 6

I found my soul

By letting go of the Bible

I found my heart

By being broken

I found my dreams

By running away

Letting go of everything I knew

I found my home

 

Infinite Words-Hour 22

These hours

Climb one on top of the other

Stacked into infinity

Or three am

Same thing

My body hurts

My back, my head, my soul

Words are flying through the air

Coaxing me to grab them

But I cannot raise my arms

I am stuck

Stuck in these long hours

Fighting the reality

I really have nothing to say

Still I say it

Each hour

Placing one word on top of another

Stacked into infinity

Or three am

When the words will settle down

And I can sleep

Cat-Hour 21

The night has become a blanket of quiet

A quilt of solitude

Cat sits next to me

Tail swishing

A warning perhaps

He assists this poetry drivel

By batting my fingers

When they dance across the keyboard

I have insulted him with a kiss

Degraded him with attention

for now he faces away

He puts up with me for food

Yet he does care

Never leaves my side

Follows me out the door in the morning

Greets me at the garage when I come home

He finds me bearable

He knows I am devoted

And cats love being worshipped

He allows me this evening of poetry

For now as long as it doesn’t interfere

with my main duties as cat servant

Love Song-Hour 20

I would sing at the top of my voice

If I could trust said voice

Across vast wildernesses and mountain ranges

I would echo through the canyons

Screaming my love

My hate, my contempt, my desire

Yes I love you

But you eat at my soul

You truly do

You always have

You are my purpose

You give me my identity and my consolation

You give me my bursts of eloquence

My moments of great achievement

But the pain

The pain, the indecision

Being unable to reach that pinnacle

Let alone have steady readers

I give and give

You take and take

I am raw

Wasted

Always searching for one more word

One more sentence

I grasp for sanity

and you rip it away

Be a writer I told myself

Now I wish I hadn’t listened

Success eludes me

Hope eludes me

But I hang on

You are my great love

I sing out to you

Reach to you for guidance

Wasted echoes

Wasted words

Wasted melodies

Wasted hours

You are a bitter lover

That seldom gives back

I will sing my love for you

I will never leave you

But sometimes I wish I could