To be repentant of one’s
Old ways
When does this really stop?
You forgive yourself and
Others time and time again
And still there is a lesson
To be learnt
When it rears its ugly head
Discipline, planning and calculations
Doesn’t set the scene to stop the old ways
They creep up on you
When you least expect it
There are some behaviours
You can say good bye to
Yet other ones the insidious ones
The more subtle ones can be hidden
Suddenly rushing to the surface
A wave hits you and then another
Then suddenly that hidden hell
You try to avoid is back alive and well
A mocking laugh
A loud ‘I told you so!’
Is ringing in my ears
How do I get this to stop?
I sit there feeling small and vulnerable
Curled up in a ball
I pray silently for it to stop
Then all of a sudden the waves stop crashing
And the voice stops ringing in my ears
I feel the sun licking on my cheeks
I taste the salt in my mouth
It’s not the residue of the waves
But the tears streaming down my cheeks
I look up to the sky and I feel a
Warm embrace
A gentle stroking of my hair and
A soft whisper
‘You’ll be fine little one,
Trust more and I will carry you through
Turbulent waters to safety
Trust and don’t forget your
Own power
Blessed be’