in the end

there is little to be said for the end of things

much to be felt but very little to be said

no excuses to render that will justify

no amount of apology or special gift

there is nothing one can do to fill the

giant empty space you left in the soul

of someone you used to love

no springtime flowers can drive out the scent of loneliness

or enough witty banter to replace the heart-to-heart

that used to overwhelm their world

and in the end you learn

it isn’t how you got here

it’s what you learned in the process.

in my perfect world

in my perfect world-

you are as dark as i am light

the difference is as clear as black and white

but the inside of me

sees the true color of you

and you become the same as me;

not just when under attack with bombs bursting in air

but on the subway and at the market-

when we are at the fair or running a marathon;

we can hear each other breathe

slow even breaths

and there is no difference between us-

you are as loved as i am.

 

 

she’s come undone

they say she’s sick

cuz she leaves her windows open

when it’s cold outside-

curtains blowing in the wind;

lost her husband and kids all grown-

they pat my head and say leave her ‘lone

but she fascinates me with

her silver blue hair always tied in a bun.

she told me once she’s come undone

and she has to nap from one to three just to put her shoes on her feet,

i have no idea what she means but i smile

and go back to my house.

II

they say she’s crazy

cuz she piles up trash in cardboard boxes on her porch

while she swats at flies with a dingy hankie-

small hands and wrinkled skin,

she looks so sad so i try to make conversation with her.

she tells me she’s come undone

that her whole world is gone and she doesn’t know why

they left her here.

i have no idea what she means and i walk back to my house

wondering if she was happy i even stopped.

III

They say she’s lonely

cuz she talks out loud when no one’s there

and she rocks for hours as if that is her day’s work.

in raggedy slippers and her housecoat,

with arms folded-

in the middle of winter she sits there with her windows open

curtains blowing in the wind

trash piled up in cardboard boxes-

swatting flies;

i don’t know why they left me here she yells

over and over again;

but now i understand,

she really has come undone.

 

 

at the water’s edge

i have always been happiest at the water’s edge-

whenever i am overlooking a turquoise ocean

i come to life and feel open to the universe

like i feel in no other place.

i inhale and let the warm winds blow through my nostrils and my hair-

i let go and allow myself to exhale.

speedboats race by in front of me-

seagulls fly overhead-

i am open to the universe here-

ready and amazed with all of God’s creations.

He is here-

in small fish-

in colored glass-

in flowers i’ve never seen.

He is in the hillsides and on the mountaintops-

here at the water’s edge He reminds me that He is alive and well.

tall dark brown

can i get away to you?

hide in the tall dark brown

to close my eyes and remember

sunny days and long conversations

that lasted into the night

spent vocalizing nothing much

but feeling quite satisfied when it was over.

always wishing it could go on just

a little while longer

always  all ways

pulling away before the fire starts careful not to burn

and sometimes lingering a few minutes too long

just to feel the heat

as if testing to see if it still exists-

it always will

always  all ways.

can i get away to you?

Just to hide in the tall dark brown

to close my eyes and remember

sunny days and long conversations

that lasted into the night-

spent vocalizing nothing much

but feeling quite satisfied when it was over.

poetic therapy

i will unlock the door that has been closed

i will free the monsters and the butterflies trying to escape

they will scare and beautify-

make some feel intimidated

while others will leap for joy.

i will bear my naked truths-explicitly

and you will all wonder who i really am.

you will dissect my soul as if i asked you to

when i merely needed to release-

to unburden myself,

free myself from the weight that i carry around in my head-

my neck, my shoulders, my heart, my stomach,

my legs and my thighs.

i will let it all go out from this secret place

and spread it all across the pages of my books-

until i can really feel-

really love again.

let him wait

i let him wait

through early morning

and the softly fallen dew

through the afternoon and

the lazy day too

i let him want

through the evening

and then morning again

let him wait

let him wait

let him wait

not have a slice

or sample or piece.

let him wait

grow full of liquid love

blossom blue

burn and stagger for skin

sound the secret shower

running like summer wind.

that day

what were you looking for that day

i saw you in the crowd?

were you feeling a little lost?

i only saw the frown.

were you running from the madness?

out only for a breath of air?

it looked like you were sad

when i saw you standing there.

the sky had changed to rain

but i didn’t really care

because once i saw your face

i was totally unaware.

i smile when i recall it-

i remember it so well;

my sunshine on the best days-

sometimes my living hell;

but through it all i remember

and i’ve never seen it since-

the emptiness i know was there

that day i looked beyond my fence.

for maya (dedication to maya angelou)

you were not afraid to share your dreams

to show us how to be born from the dirt

and grow tall, stretching always towards the light.

you were the sister who told her truth

leaned on oaks and let the wind carry you.

i have reveled through your words

always holding them as gospel truths

and you have never swayed me in the wrong direction.

i am wiser because of you and through you-

i learned how to let the caged bird sing.

 

how much is that doggie in the window?

how much will it cost me to spend a little time-

wait for you on the sofa so we can conversate

way into the night;

it isn’t just a passing thing-

it always calls for more,

the energy we exert can burn a world down

but we go on not willing to admit-

wrestling with the whys and the why nots

that our lives reveal-

wondering if maybe in a different time and space

if this could be forever

you and me

face to face.