Lest We Forget

When the towers fell about our heads

We wondered short of the cold and dead

Who to blame and who to strike

And so it came to pass

When word and action carried

The world aloft on arrows

A trajectory of folly

No weight or power could alter

Trumped by foolish favor

Foiled by fury and fear

Reason gave way to revenge

Solidarity, to fear

 

 

Before Darkness

Oh your light gave a fright

To this lone wandering star

So used to the dark of the night

Being afraid is all it had known

One nightmare to the next

Every step was a fight

Searching for a place called home

In a word or a place

Who ever knew it was in a name?

And then you came

From beyond the shallows of night

Smiling a ray of hope

And all at once it never knew

What was before the darkness

 

 

Notes

And the music played through the smoke stack room

The clink and chimes of good times and better days, too

Played chorus to Queen, Aerosmith, and The Doors

Under pressure to get a grip and break on through to the other side

Of that stone cold steel door to the outside

I had no idea the future would come to sit

With me

And speak ever so sweet

With me

And tell me how nice to meet you

Through the softest notes

I have come to know

 

 

And You Were There

The end is not forever

It is a pause

A momentary breath

A blink

A dimming of the lights

For the next act

And you

Were there

The last time the lights dimmed, my sight went black, and the air about me froze

You smiled

And that was when I knew

It was all for you

 

 

Beautiful

I remember, towards the end
You asked me why I don’t tell you
You are beautiful

I thought it strange you would ask such a  thing
As I recall, I told you so every day

I smiled when you ever came to mind
Which was always
When I saw you, I wouldn’t hesitate to kiss you
When you would pass by
I would embrace you
Never to let go

You said, I didn’t show it enough
I didn’t tell you enough

You were mistaken, mi amor
I told you every day
Every moment you were in my presence

Could it have been that I did not say it enough?
I won’t deny that
In my defense, though, you knew I was of few words
My heart did not reside on my sleeve

In fact, the truth is
I did not dare attempt such a feat

To tell how beautiful you are
How much more I fall in love
When you look at me
Your way

I can not encapsulate the extent of your grace
Within the mire of words
Sought and placed as markes
Upon the portrait you are

It would be as futile a thing to attempt
As it would be for anyone to describe a sunset

Try as I might have, it would be done in vain
For I could never put words to what I could never understand

It is my greatest regret
For all that we lived
For all the love we had

You could never see
The words I spoke
In ever kiss
In every look
In every moment when all I could do
Is stare in wonder

How could a wayward soul like me
Be so lucky

To find such a beautiful thing
In such an ugly world
And somehow convince it
To love me

I am Sun

Never gave much thought to what you said before. Of course I was never really listening anyway. Even when you told me what to look out for. I was determined to still find my own way. Of course that goes without saying. Even after seeing what you went through, I was still determined to do as I wanted anyway. My mistakes were always mine to make. Yours were only snapshots to eyes that could only see a fraction of what you were trying to say.

So what was it that you were trying to say?

Don’t let go of who you are.

Being friends is better than being lovers.

Forgetting who you are can be deadly.

Learn who you are before learning who you should be.

Looking back, I can see now where you were coming from. It’s not so much that you were telling me what to do, but rather just warning a traveler of the dangers ahead. Thanks for the heads up, I guess. Not that I listened anyway. So I can’t blame you for what I did. It’s not like you didn’t warn me. It’s not like you knew what I had guessed was the right path instead. I’m just glad you didn’t have to watch me fall. Or stand over my mistakes and hold out your hand to help me up and say, ” I told you that would happen.”

Can I blame you just this once?

Can I say, it was all your fault? I didn’t know what I was doing.

I didn’t know things could go so bad.

I didn’t know who I was, because you never showed me.

You never told me how.

So who am I?

Who am I?

When I found you along the way. It was so long since I’d seen a new sun, I couldn’t help but linger. Mine had long since found another horizon to break. New day, can you shine your light in my direction? Can you show me new path, and warm my face? You can burn me a little, I won’t mind. The pain of new skin is refreshing after feeling the cold for so long. So long.

New daylight. New day. Same light. New star.

Love and Youth

Look at me, I am three.

And the world doesn’t quite scare me yet.

My parent’s fears have yet to invade

I am free…

Mom used to tell me, “Don’t be in such a hurry.”

Growing up was a race.

And I was bound and determined to run it. To win.

To one day declare. “I was young, once.”

Young eyes, despite the obvious advantage

Are so short sighted.

It’s age that remedies this, though.

Irony has a sense of humor, too, I suppose.

It is also in matters of love, that youth can make even the most eagle sighted

Blind.
Love is also a race, I’ve come to find.
This race I was also bound and determined to run. To win.
To one day declare, “I was in love, once
I scratched that last word out.
I had to

Unlike youth, which you can experience only once
Love comes and goes many times over
In many forms and never the same way twice
Regardless of the scars left behind as reminders

Youth, is measured in time.
Eventually, you can never be young ever again.
Love, on the other hand, is measured in moments of knowing glances
and late night talks about your day
and how much I hated being away from you.

Something Found

The found, do not ask to be.

The found are castaways from a doomed voyage through the known unknowable seas of symbiotic humanity.

Any port in a storm, as they say.

You just so happened to be the port I needed.

The found, do not ask to be. The found are the remnants of life gone wrong. A piece of Hell that has lost its unholy garb, now wearing naught but the skin they revel in; the scars and still open wounds.

The found, do not ask to be. The found, do not know they are lost.

Until they get lost all over again. A reminder of what it is to no longer call her name home. To call her heart, sanctuary. To call her and be glad that she sees the same in you. As she says your name with more love than you can ever hope to know.

I remember the storms. I recall the terror as my body slipped beneath the surface waters and I choked on bitter words. I choked on them, thinking what, I have no real answer. In terror, many things come to surface, as you flounder about to breach the tides that belt against you.

I wish I had never met you.
You are the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
I don’t exist for you, anymore.
Forget, you ever knew me…

God, how easily I can become so monstrous.

I did not realize it then, or even before, that I had become the storm. I was Hell.

I once was lost, but was found. And found to be wanting.

I did not ask to be something found. I did not ask to bear witness to the Garden.

But I was. And I did. And it was I who found me wanting.

The found, do not ask to be.

9/12/12

When you said, Michigan
It was all I could do, not to change my mind.

About us

I mean, Michigan?
Really?
With him?

Much as I wanted to say, “No, don’t go. I’ve changed my mind.”
I knew it was too late for that
Much too late

I watched you pack your mom’s pickup with what was yours.
Some things that weren’t.
I didn’t care
What I really wanted, was moving to Michigan

I knew, though, as much as I hate to admit it
Moving away was the best thing you could have done

Some months later, your mom came by to pick up the rest of your belongings
I helped with the heavier things
Made small talk in earnest, albeit sparingly

As the pickup rattled away an hour or so later
It was then that it hit me

You were gone.
I missed you.
And even though I hated the things you did
I loved you all the same

 

Lucky

He was so quiet
No one ever knew he was here

It was always a moment of surprise once he was discovered
A blonde body laying in a small bed
Just inside the living room on the recliner not reclined since 2007

He was so quiet
Unless it was raining
Or snowing
Or the garbage man came
Or a sudden noise from the television sounded remotely like thunder

He’d get, what has been called, his crack face
Mouth open as he panted
A bit of drool for good effect
Shaking uncontrollably

He was my four legged barometer

Not a single sign of rain
But he knew
He always knew