the wheels turn
harden
sour
salt
curdle
and bring us together
24 Poems ~ 24 Hours
the wheels turn
harden
sour
salt
curdle
and bring us together
i feel at home when
you hold me to together
when we stop in our tracks and look up towards the sky
i feel like i’m important
and that everything
mans nothing
has touched me yet
loving you makes me feel invincible
come on
come on
wipe the sweat
so close
don’t pay any mind dear
it’ll be okay
what are a few minutes
dark bathroom
pirate
what is it all for??
huh?
come on
come on
come on
so close
dont slow now
now! what a splendid little thing
to take the buzz and ache away
pause the gears
and allow for a total meltdown of the senses
i know this is danger
this is stupid frilly fun
but once you’re locked in
there’s not getting off the ride
keys between the fingers
pepper spray dangles
what about walking at night
invigorates
and terrifies
perhaps they go hand in hand
icy air ripping at the lungs
praying that headlights rush past you
and keep moving
keep driving
approach each corner with hesitation
no headphones
remain aware of your surroundings
text updates the closer you get to your
destination
“made it home safe”
There’s a large freckle under my left eye
that I would wipe at
for hours
trying to clean the “dirt” off my face
My right front tooth has a chip in it
from when I tried to use a butter
knife
as a toothpick
I had tattoos splotched on my arms
they were almost all impulse
decisions
that I now question
My hairline is the same as my grandmother and her mother
an isosceles triangle patch nustled on the left side of
my scalp
that has never grown hair
I start each day cursing myself for not waking up earlier
and end the night with deja vu
a strict skincare regime
and writing five pages in my journal
There is always so much I want to do during the day
that I never get around to it
and even though I check off some of my “to do’s”
I linger on the “did not’s”
heart is bulging out of my chest
the air
thin
hand clutched over mouth
no sound shall escape
no sound
the blood gushes through my veins
roars
angry and scared
rough stone scratches at my neck
so long as I press against this wall
I’ll know that no one is behind me
they’re near
shhh
still
numb, all my limbs, numb
why can’t I feel anything
paralyzing
gulping sweet liquid air
unable to keep from looking down
I feel like I’m in a
space between this world and the next
I can see 1956
and 2098
I can feel my birth and death within
the same blink
we are so easily broken
and we build things like bridges
planes
cars
We like that we can die at any moment
Life would be no fun than
When it’s dark
and my mind is circling the drain
ready to recharge
You lay next to me and breathe
into my hair
I hear you’re sighs and
coos
and when you finally drift off into sweet slumber
your muscles jolt
as if releasing all of the energy they had
that you didn’t get to expel during the day
And you holding
as you flop about
extending a leg suddenly
shoulders shaking on their own
a string puppet being
manipulated by a phantom
and I lay there
fireworks going off in your body
at peace
knowing that you’re sleeping soundly
I’ve never been the type to make a fuss
I keep my head down
Let other’s walk in bigger and louder strides
And when he asked me if I wanted to call someone
to help me
I wish I had said yes.
I was seventeen and thought I knew everything
hard-headed
self sufficient
But this was an instance where even the strongest people’s
facades will crack and weather
and crumble
I felt the initial fracture
and if I had said yes
maybe I could have prevented the canyons that formed
I wish I had said,
yes, I need help
but I didn’t
I buried my face in a blanket
and laid in the grass
wet and cold on my back
An ice pack trying to soothe the swelling
inside
and I wish I had said yes
Things turned because of the absence of
yes
I said No No No No
I pushed
I pushed you have to believe me
I shut my eyes tight and tried to breathe
No
Yes
Ow stoppit you’re hurting me
Flashing lights and car alarms
No
No
Please no