The Poetry Marathon

Breath spirit wind, over the face of the waters,
separating mind spirit from body,
bringing life into each sustaining a human trinity,
through tiny caverns in our lungs to the expanse ,
of our interconnected atmosphere,
flora and oceans cultivate an airy link,
interdependent cycle ,
as first our original mother breathed through us,
the same air we birthed into breathing,
hard hit jolt into initial life,
continuing until the last jolts to restore our breath cease.

The thoughts gyrating and cultivating inside
Call out and cry for the expected end apocryphal
Books that beheld are opened with tales played out
Of the deepest dream liquid stars speak of
Enoch’s cry for salvation turns personal
Until the end of time brings all else he says
That then a new brightening may soar
Depths far below the surface – sparks shon even there
Were calling to the furthest creatures inside us
Eating and sleeping and forgetting our Angles
Who yearn to call us back to our origin
Amnesia abound omit the journey we consented
To a path and purpose sent down into matter
Through our fault and neglect we suffered the fall
From wholeness in sublime immoral affection
Now wrought and cast as promised heaven
That surly a reason behind our life resounds
Seeking and striving lifetimes toil that they
Might reveal something innately known
Slight cast almost imperceptible voices have
Intercourse with our intertwined essential spirit
Unlocking closed trapdoors unknown heights go with
The hopes dared not to have felt
Bringing forth fruit girt daughters
Of to the end of all time a perfect eternity
Here stands merely a gateway between two worlds on Earth.

Three crows over my left shoulder,
debarked me on an unknown shore,
the land looked the same as did the people on it,
what changed was how I there stood.
I learned for once what want truly was,
my infant stomach ached from what couldn’t sustain,
no encouragement, no prize, no attention just bleak,
no parental hang to chide or to hold,
or voice to call if stayed out at night.
no surprise, gift or party for me,
no questions about what I wanted to do.
I had to fend and survive alone,
no one came to put a plate before me,
walking in the rain as no way to return,
fighting for younger siblings thought prey
forcing out my own blightful memories,
while barely held by the loosest social net,
cracks so wide and falls so deep,
every small kindness lit up my face,
unexpected and needed momentary relief,
distant holidays, studies, activities and such,
total fantasy seen on our rusty TV set.

When those tides caught up to the age when I left,
I leaned and looked at my pre-voyage self,
one opportunity laden in satiate sloth,
the newer fearful yet value was felt,
despite what little of any of it about.
both fail and flounder, beholden to fate.
Four decades in and those children still drive,
guilt humbles to see what little I made,
of all that advantage heaped back then.
The saga was raised to expect such support,
then vanish and left like spartan birth,
no conditioning – but all softness and weak.
Kneeling and supplication to those,
Who had not any of this support
Whose being were grown callous just to get by
Step past scar tissue and seek to soften inside.

Gentle yearning for something more,
Delicate dissecting of warm light,
Hopes manifest seeing hopeless surroundings,
Filtering untamed tempers and knowing love stands behind,
Interacting only with that love, shadows searing from light,
Attention intention and prayerful humbleness
Toddler thrashing seen no matter how old,
Like cartoon storm eye continually calm,
Vagabonding abroad with bounds,
Focuses the heart on a feeling not spatial,
Carry in my core – seen only as sense of self,
Not embodied and I think I can take it with me.

Seismic crafted cathedrals sustained in the wild,
Affections cultivated ring tin thin empty,
Rock heat baked timeless preservation,
Her wallflower’s fluctuating vinette,
Floral mask betraying brittle surface,
Three times an outsider standing by,
Dried up cracks strange adorning what nature made,
Slithering survival flashing firefly emotions near,
A sense beyond the temporal provokes lethargy in the viewer.
Walking with giants to surpass me for millennia.

Reaching out to the far,
searching secret combinations must surly
unlock some concealed affections,
yet scorn springs from unending upturned wells,
Human legs destructive in bird nest incubator,
Writing intended perpetually for all time,
now washed by each dismissive scroll.
Muted against those adored with cardiac hieroglyphics.
Another bother, conveyor belt communication,
Words of devotion dashed by a short curt retort,
Cavernous ventricles fail at notification denied,
Iranian execution style slow strangling replies,
Hours dangling – callous in neglects disdain.
Words only on demand, that toy should remain boxed.
Catch those two little birds my love,
Only write to show your dedication to me,
& the only dedication I demand is silence.
Peering squints yet lines still empty,
Chided for basking that shown in plain sight.
Accept and enjoy a game as predestined loser,
mark away cultivating symbolic obscurity in safety.

Flowing time, internal grinding mechanical compulsion,
incessant on-going harsh-driving onwards,
sound taking all space from subtler resounding,
engulfed by lightless darkening.
All potency drawn into this machine,
stretched out constantly tired,
willfully compelled into one avenue,
clinging only where magnets can grab.
Weary surrender curling up like a dying leaf,
bowing supplication, release of the outside,
to cradle this torment in fetal form.
Endless weakness corrosive and turned on itself,
mask painted brave outside,
whirring-on, hoping to get out alive.

Warmth pressing red glow encouraging first glance,
Back embodied passing defragmented mind,
Inner core soft level ground for a fluttering purpose.
Pressing smooth opening inside both one to another,
Enlivened top and bottom, awake below,
Held inside, tingles of bodily happiness then release.
Cradled by holding – seen and recognised.
Tendons and sinews tighten for needed moments
Returning to refractory lightness
Chest breaths easy in open flows.
Lips curl at corners as safety unfurls.
Gentle eternal recurrence welcome this day.

Shining grains spread from initial pluroma whole,
perforations into an endless deceptive covering,
heave utter meaninglessness into castaway shells,
obsidian dusk brings lightless reflection,
dim shadow gloom’s starkest sight,
that splendor abyss stare echoes inside,
destiny annihilation crumbles self,
archon’s monkey-mind’s chaotic ripples,
pixelated fading smooth and evaporate,
heritage in this pieced beyond,
sent – now forgotten,
faint memory of cosmic purpose,
Interweaving delving dervish dance.
Meaning matched with its opposite,
truth if anywhere, is between,
unmasked in each canceling its other.

Glancing at a one-day obituary,
unmentioned name to nameless successors,
last you said you knew I thought of you often,
thoughts now are archetypes you grew,
fused inside inseparable divine,
soft blending maternal melting,
thawing out all which came before.

Cross pollination at fledgeling time,
screens tell me where you went,
enveloping tenderness for new life,
my old life struggled for what you showed.
softness felt like burning through,
decades later the same is true.
At least you tried and gave more,
than anyone ever has.
Without you I could not even hope,
as I would wander frozen,
not knowing brittle was sinuous in the end.

Incarnation put you up as my lamb,
burned on contemptuous pyre,
I put onto you all I felt on myself,
prodigal beyond unworthy regret,
killing those to bring them with.
First breathless moments in eternity,
I know I will see you there,
true marriage struck unspeakable,
tied deep bound totally no desired escape.
Your form exceeding beauty’s sheer essence,
never one I could hold.