TW::
Deals with eating disorders

If you play with fire
eventually you’ll
get burned
isn’t this the way
it always is

I never thought anything
was supposed to get to me.
I thought I was
big
bad
tough
thick skinned

one day
43 minutes
Not so sure I
can make it

But you did this to me
made me feel
stupid
insecure
unworthy
ugly

You did this to me
hurt me
pushed me down
Made me feel
like I couldn’t do
anything right

two days
1 hour
20 minutes
how long since

I want to ask you
notice me
see what I’m doing
to make you happy
not me
I don’t matter

I am not perfect
and I’m not the ideal
I can’t help it
I can’t be what you
want me to be

three days
8 hours
little by little
I’m doing it
Are you proud

I’m tired of trying to conform
to what
you want
you think
you wish
you hope
I would be

It’s not
going to happen
I have my own mind
but you still try to
push it

nitpick a little more
why don’t you
find something else
wrong with
my attitude
my language
my choices
me

four days
14 hours
56 minutes
since

Every time I do it
I feel like a failure
like Im disgusting
like I’m unworthy
to even be seen

I can’t do it anymore
I can’t make bad choices
can’t spend my life trying
to please you
It only brings me down

what I know now
is you may only have
my best interests at heart
but you pick the wrong way
to go about it