Another night
So much on my mind
God please take it away.
Please don’t make me think
about it once again
You win God
I’ll think about it
once more
and pray again
it touches someone’s life
I reflect on the things
that I’ve done
Things that I’m not proud of
addictions I’ve faced
Why did I suffer the addiction
that I had
why did I have to fight so hard
just to stay alive
Why was I so ashamed
to talk to you
when it was bad
You took me out of myself
made me step away from it
all
just so I could see what it was
doing to me
Thank you Jesus
For showing me
for teaching me
guiding me
caring for me
Thank you
that I’m not the same
person that I was
that I’m still alive
still here
still hoping
that my story reaches
someone in need
Sometimes I wonder
does my story ever reach
anyone, touch anyone
I guess it’s something I
may never know
I pray that my story
touches someone
that needs to hear the
message imbedded in
the story of my life
I may have stopped
the addiction that consumed
my life
my thoughts
my words and actions
myself
But I didn’t do it alone
Too often we say to ourselves
‘look, I’ve pulled myself away from
this addiction’
or this behavior
but did we really do it on our own?
or is that what we like to say to
make ourselves feel better
when we know we didn’t
Or was there someone who had a
purpose for the suffering that we
went through to get to where we are
at this moment in time
I believe that jesus has a reason
for the sufferings we go through
there is a purpose in the suffering
that I faced
that we all faced at one time or another
I don’t know what it is
neither do you or anyone else
But isn’t that part of the mystery
of life’s ride.
Going on a journey where you don’t
know where you’ll end up
Again I say
Thank you Jesus
for loving me
for rescuing me
for showing me
the way to get clean
so I’m no longer dirty
and in danger of dying in hell
for the sins I’ve committed
against you
Take my life and use it
all for your purpose
anything you want I’ll do it
just to know that you are
in the drivers seat of my life