First Hour

It’s going to hurt

for so long

I just want it to end


I have so much pain


It’s gotta come out somehow


No one noticed the pain

How could they?

They’ve got their own

I’m not the only one


I just don’t understand

How could God come to

take her home with him

Why I found her

Why the image won’t leave


You had such a beautiful smile


way about you

and I don’t even remember

your voice


I have pictures to remind me

of your smile and how

you look

but it’s no substitute

for hav ing you here


I took you for granted

so many times

I had child like fantasies

where you would always

be here and Dad would

be my knight in shining armor


I really need to punch


But what?

Anything to get my

pain out

By any means necessary


I’m survivng


Just barely holding

my head above the


that threatens to bury me


I’m drowning-

Just drowning to

the point of being



I can’t find a way

to get out from under


It’s choking me

hands around my throat

Squeezing tight

Can’t breathe


One second I’m

Happy, laughing


Angry and so ready to

punch something


Lying here alone

I need you here

You made living easy



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