Fairest of them all
Before her to whom many nobles fell
Mountain peaks cleaving to her chest
Supple lips many a thirst are quenched
Adventures becoming pleasures less explained than experienced, still their stories they long to tell
Fairest of them all
Indeed many nobles still will fall.
There is something very personal about this poem. I felt it, and if I were the woman to whom it was written, I would be very touched and uplifted that someone could acknowledge I still had beautiful qualities even though I am no longer young. The line that that starts with Adventures is in the passive voice. If you shift it to active, I think it will fix the awkward rhythm
Thank you so much for your input, I appreciate you. I tried to and hope it’s active enough now.
It is quite personal, yes. Glad you could read between the lines too.
You most definitely are a beauty…your spirit shines through in your words. ❤️❤️
I like this angle, sincere appreciation.