Wishful Thinking
Like Wordsworth and the Lake Poets
I wish to rusticate; leave the bustle
and daily grind behind; the tiresome
car alarms, the screaming children, the
mournful howls of the dog two doors down.
I wish to sit in a bower, framed with gardenias
and listen to fox sparrows call to one another
from the hidden branches of blackberry bushes—
watch while bohemian waxwings get tipsy
as summer wanes under September skies.
Like Wordsworth and the Lake Poets
I wish to sit in a bower, framed with gardenias
and lose myself in the quiet moments thinking
of how fortunate it is to have this treasured space.
Then the phone rings and the clock ticks toward
the supper hour and children need to be fed.
Hello Christy,
I really like this on Wishfull Thinking. I have been there many times myself. Life always intrudes. Thank you for your poem
Much appreciated, Oliver – life intrudes is so true!
“and lose myself in the quiet moments thinking
of how fortunate it is to have this treasured space”
you paint such lovely pictures with your words. thanks for the read
Thank you for your message – I am so glad you enjoyed this piece; given it was the dreaded ‘form’ poem, I usually panic, but the Gigan wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.
The Gigan almost tripped me up this year, but you have masterfully written yours. The technical composition of this poem is astounding, the way you use the refrain line which hits the second time like a gut-wrenching moment of longing.
The imagery, alliteration and sibilant sounds all build the tension which that final couplet delivers. The magic you created is dispelled and we are returned to reality.
DSC
https://thepoetrymarathon.com/author/dscoremans
#FoDiByLi
Thanks DCS!! I had a Zoom call when this prompt came through and I freaked out – then while still on the call (with my mom and sister) I realized that Jacob had made a template for Caitlin on one of our earlier marathons for the pantoum (which I still use). So when the call ended, I quickly made a template with the couplets, and tercets set and then I put a note for which lines needed repeating, and where they had to go – it made it so much easier and I got it done in time, or just a wee bit late! 🙂
I read this wonderful poem three times after having just cleaned up after dinner, the call of a loon calling me to read it a fourth.
I shall henceforth roll my Rs when I say rusticate. Love that word.
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for your wonderful comments on my poems!! I so appreciate them and can hear the rolled ‘Rs’ – I love that word, too!! I am a collector of words!! Thank you also for your thoughtful message to leave off the Dear C and L at the end of the poem for hour six – It was such a healing prompt for me and having my name and his on both ends of the piece helped me put things in perspective, but I agree with your sage advice… 🙂 Again, thank you!!
Splendid imagery. The repeated lines of the gigan are blending in so subtly! I love the completeness and clarity of “as summer wanes under September skies”.
Thank you!! I am now trying to figure out which two submit for the anthology! I loved the gigan – a new form for me but how the two repeating lines come together the second time around is cool!
What a great fit of form and content–the repetition adds intensity to, and even helps to enact, the wishing! I also love your vocabulary choices: the words painting the picture of what you wish for have a different texture than the ones describing the present reality, and the contrast between them works so well (even if people don’t notice it explicitly)!
Much appreciated, Rebecca!! I agree the form brings all of our second the lines together in a stronger and often more evocative way. I really like this form, now! Thanks for checking it out and taking the time to comment!
The gigan was a wonderful challenge this year and you nailed it. I was lulled by the poem and thinking to myself…oooo…what will be the twist? You did NOT disappoint. Nice!
Thank you, Sandy! I loved the Gigan (it is new to me) and now as I am receiving submissions and reading through them, I am amazed at how cool this form of poetry is – the repeated lines in their new order just bring people’s poems alive!! Thanks for your feedback!