Hours spent sleepless at 3 am
Usually 3 am
Sometimes 3:33 – a scary time
One in which the ghosts come out!

Demons infiltrate my every thought
Whipping me to shreds with their anguish
Over my imperfections

What needs to be done
Did I do it right?
Did I say it wrong?

What is he thinking of me?
Is he thinking of me?
Am I too fat?

I forgot to buy breath mints.
Speaking of which, I need to make an appointment
with a dentist.
Get my teeth cleaned.

When will I have time?
Can’t do it this week.
I need those 40 hours to pay the rent.

Next week, maybe. Or the next.
I could skip grocery shopping
Eat beans and rice this week.

That always makes me fart.
I hate farting.
I wonder if when I farted
At work the other day.

Did he smell it?
God, I hope not.
Is that why he hasn’t called?
Probably.

I probably just stink
He doesn’t like me.
Or he just wanted sex.
That was it.

God, I’m so stupid!
Why do I get so turned on by these…
These… These… MEN!

Sometimes I wish I could be a lesbian.
What would that be like? hmmm….
No, I don’t think so. Nope. Not for me.

I like big strong arms and a big…
Damn him! Why hasn’t he called?

I wonder if he’s with someone else tonight.
I’ll bet he’s with Susan.
She’s always smiling at him.

What does she have that I don’t have?
Money? Connections?
Better breath?

Maybe I should call him.
What time is it?
I have to be up in two hours.

I could call in sick.
Nope. Can’t.
Gotta pay the rent next week.

What is it about counting sheep
That makes people go to sleep?
I could count sheep. 1, 2, 3, 4.

That commercial with the sheep
Is so cute! What product is that?
I’ve forgotten. What was it?

I need to buy more melatonin.
Maybe I should try valerian.
Kim said valerian works best for her.

I’m up to five melatonin a night.
What’s that, like 15 mg?
I wonder if you can overdose on melatonin.

Sleep, to sleep, perchance to dream.
Sometimes I wish I were a guy
Just so I could play Hamlet in Hamlet.

I wonder if I’d be gay.
I wonder if I’m really a gay man in a woman’s body.
That makes sense, really.

I like men.
I like doing manly stuff.
I have a man’s job.

But they don’t pay me like a man,
That’s for sure.
I need a raise!

I should ask for a raise
This week.
Maybe if I brought in my dildo,
They’d see that I have everything
Any man has.

Make sure it’s clean. Ha!
I wonder if he’d get jealous of my dildo.
Maybe I should bring it… nah.

Speaking of which,
I really need to do the dishes
Tonight!

Why don’t I have time for anything?
What time is it?
Damn!

I have to be up in an hour.
I should just go on and get up.
Up, Up, Up.

Nope.
Lay back down with me.

Wait, where’s that piece of paper
With the Sanskrit thing on it
That Dani gave me at yoga.

Did I put it in my wallet?
I wonder if that works.
What was it? Om something.

Maybe if I just say Om in my mind
Maybe I can finally go to sleep.
Worth a try, I guess…

Om, om, om, om, what was it that
Om, om, om, I wonder what it means
Om, om, om, om, I , Om, can’t quit thinking
Om, Om, Om, Om, ommmmmmmmmmm