Deciding which day will be the tricky part. Friday’s no good because you’d be opening up a can of worms you’d never be able to close.

Sunday is a no-go because it already has an abysmal reputation.

Wednesday is a terrible choice because it offers a glimmer of hope in an otherwise bleak existence and showers you in the gratification you so desperately crave.

Monday won’t work on account of the fact that it’s too predictable.

Thursday doesn’t feel right either because you just can’t ascertain the true purpose and, as such, feel powerless to stop the unrelenting forces from grounding you in realism.

Tuesday just can’t exist because no one has yet to see it leaping around in the wild. It may as well be a sasquatch or the loch ness monster.

And Saturday would be perfect but now you have the entire weekend to look forward to and isn’t that just the pits? This is why you wanted to try it in the first place.