#38

living in Oz
where Christmas
is in summer
& the temps are
usually in the high 30’s
i don’t think we’ve
ever had a special
Christmas Cake

Wikipedia tells me
a favourite of many
is the traditional Scottish
Christmas cake
the Whisky Dundee
— apparently the cake
originated in Dundee/

no need to go on
you had me at whisky

*****

as much as i like this one, I feel it is a bit cheeky, given I finished it in the first 9 minutes of the hour. so presenting a bonus poem on the same theme.

*****

Christmas Cake: or how to survive the festive season
a poetic recipe

Servings 10 (I have a large family, so this won’t be enough, I’ll be doubling the recipe)
Time 4 days approx (it won’t take that long, seriously: not the way I make it)
Difficulty moderate

Christmas cake is a fruitcake traditionally served around Christmas in the UK, especially after long walks to be had with tea. (Hahaha, yeah right.)

Ingredients
To make a round 10-inch diameter cake.  (20-inch, we’re doubling remember)

The fruit
600 g currants
400 g sultanas
400 g glacé cherries, quartered
200 g raisins
100 g cut candied peel
200 ml sherry
100 ml brandy
50 ml kirsch (or rum)

The cake mixture
4 medium eggs
300 g lightly salted soft margarine
300 g dark brown sugar
100 g self-raising flour
200 g plain flour
100 g finely-chopped almonds
2 teaspoons of ground mixed spice
2 tablespoons of black treacle

Method
The fruit
Throw the fruit & cake mixture away. It’s an unnecessary distraction. Consume all the sherry, brandy & rum. (Remember we needed to double the recipe, possibly triple it, just to be safe.)  Some people like to pour all three into a tall glass & drink as one, just to make it feel a bit more Christmassy, but separately is fine too.

The cake mixture
Did you not read above? Seriously!

Cooking
If you’re not cooked after this, make your way onto whatever remains in the bottles. You’re welcome. If this doesn’t help you survive the Silly Season, I really don’t think you’re trying hard enough.

#20. Not too bad. Three choices.