time was too abstract for me back then
I couldn’t measure it well in my head
he came back from sea
and every time I knew he would leave again

that day, he left in a hurry
no goodbyes
no hugs
no kisses

he was angry that we were fighting
my brother and I

so angry he threw his bags in his car
left

I chased after him
to say goodbye to get a kiss or a hug
but he was gone

i stood at the end of the driveway
waiting
hoping he’d turn back

my brother got me and brought me inside
he was sorry about the candy
my pigtails were slick with sweat
my heart ached and a nervous shiver hummed inside me

it never went away
bzzzz bzzzzz bzzzz bzzzzz
always right here under my skin