Daybreak by Ingrid Exner- Half Marathon Poem
Sun wakes and paints
the Sky in reds and pinks.
Colours bend down
to touch the earth,
Like a lover’s early morning kiss.
Fog drifts in and dances across the lake,
In Celebration.
I stand still,
wrapped in this wonder
as Early morning dew,
weighs lightly around my feet.
The rustling and light splashing
at the water’s edge,
reminds me that
I am NOT alone.
The deep bellow of the bull frog
Echoes across the lake…
adding to this symphony of the senses.
Poem By: Ingrid Exner, April 23, 2014
Ingrid, what a lovely and nearly meditative poem you have here! There is such a musicality about this, the sounds of your words collaborate well. I especially like the short “i” sounds of “drifts”, “kiss”, “in” all near one another. And the sounds of “bellow of the bull frog” are equally lovely. You do a great job of engaging the senses in this poem, and wrap it up nicely with that ending. The sense of sight is coming across clearly to me, sense of touch probably comes through strongest for me, and sense of sound is pretty strong too. If you plan on running with this poem some more, a possible idea for development would be to maybe add in the other senses (smell and taste) maybe? <3
Thanks for these great comments Jennifer. I love sounds so, I try to incorporate different sounds (alliteration/ assonance) as well as description. Ironically, I did this survey through Facebook which told you which one of your senses was the strongest…and for me, it was hearing first, smell and then taste. I was intending to re-work a bit and yes, there are very distinct smells as I wade through the heavy dew in the wee hours of daybreak up north ( 4:30 am)…You smell the fresh earth, the slight fragrant waterlilies and even the slight smokiness of the fog.