Wood creaks and echoes
worn with
age and use.
My breathe catches
in this biting autumn air
I bury myself deeper
into warm comfort of
my parka.
Solitude and cold
Empty feelings
Reflections of the mountains
Cover the streams.
Hollow images of
Nature as it has been.
Smooth wooden railing
guides my hands forward,
beckoning me to move forward.
Mountains spring up in the distance
wearing caps of fresh virgin snow.
Reflections of the mountains
Cover the streams.
Empty images of
Nature as it has been.
The wind rattles
Loose floor boards of
The walkway as more wind moans
Its complaints
From all directions
Surrounding me
And, reminding Me that
I am Alone.
A beautiful poem, that evoked many thoughts in me. It pulled me in different directions. I love the ending.
Some suggestions, as I read out loud
My breath catches (breath instead of breathe)
Loose floor boards of
The walkway, as more wind moans (add comma)
Thanks for catching these Vijaya…I often seem to mix up “breath” and “breathe” in my writing…it is a bad habit. Thx for the catch. I will re-read the grammar and punctuation. Thanks for catching these!
You capture the melancholy tone a walk alone can bring, and the comfort/discomfort of warmth and chill.
The me;ancholy of deterioration, contrasted with the mountains and nature als, alas, deteriorated.
I think of some famous boardwalks by the sea but..
This seems to be a specific place, so I admit I don;t quite visualize the mountains, whether they are actual, remembered, or in pictures. I have to admit I am new to reading poetry and can’t tell whether these ambiguities are often intentional. I looked again to be sure, and the mountains etc seem reflected mentally and in mood and visually at the same time. I just feel inadequate that I am missing something