Checking In (H5)

I will not
I will not
I will not
check the door
the lock
the handle
only to be flung back
against the wall when your
your hatefulness bursts across the
threshold without even breaking a sweat.

I will not.
I will not
I will not
cower in a corner
as you pepper my space
and spray my pink and green walls
with the buttons and blood
of all I kiss goodnight

No.
No.
No.
I will not check the door
the lock
the handle
and help you get in
only to wreak havoc and pain
leave me afraid…ashamed…alone.

No!
No!
No!
I will not.
I will not.
I will not
take the bait,
check the door
the lock
the handle

I will not
I will not
I will not
let you in
by checking whether you’re locked out.

No.
No.
No.
I will not.
I will not.
I will not

Damn it.
I will.
Again.
And again.

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